Transgender Theory

To understand the history of transgender people, one must also understand how both transgendered people themselves, and non-transgendered people explained the presence of such apparent misfits in the otherwise neat binary sex/gender social fabric. One can understand how law, medicine, and society in general treated transgendered people only within the context in which the transgendered person fit into a theoretic framework. If transsexuals were a medical entity, one still needs to know if it is a psychiatrically pathological entity, or a developmentally intersexed entity. If the former, one would expect that “cures” would be attempted, if the latter, then compassionate, though not always welcome, medical treatments might be applied. The law could see the transgendered person as a civil indentity question, a criminal pervert, or as a medical entity. The law’s treatment very much depends on the explanitory world view surrounding the transgendered in society.

Judeo-Christian-Moslem culture, drawing on a single verse in one old testament book, Deuteronomy 22-5, held that cross-dressing was an “abomination in the sight of the Lord”. Some biblical scholars hold that this line refers to a prohibition of the Hebrew people from participating in religious practices of the neighboring cultures, which included the followers of Cybele whose priestesses were post-operative male to female transsexuals. This single edict, surrounded by edicts that are seldom if ever followed today, save for the Ultra-Orthodox Jews, is sometimes quoted as sanctioning the worst transphobic treatment of transgendered people. Other old testament laws detail the status of “eunuchs”, males whose genitals have been surgically removed. Primarily these laws prescribe a second class status to the eunuch, since they are no longer “men”, they do not have male privileges, including the right to “testify” in court… since they no longer have the required equipment, testicles. (This is not a pun, but literally the origin of the words… one needed testicles to testify… and the old testament really does refer to the story, or testimony, of patriarchy.) Thus, built into Judeo-Christian-Moslem is the assumption that MTF transgendered people are untrustworthy abominations. This explains why Judeo-Christian-Moslem cultures have mistreated transgendered people while other cultures have either tolerated, or sometimes, venerated transgendered people, why Joan d’Arc was burned at the stake for wearing men’s vestments as well as armor, while the hijra of India have houses that have been in existence for hundreds of years.

Early in this century, as the United States population moved to the cities, transgender people, though extremely rare, started finding each other, just as they had in other city cultures in more populated countries as China and India. These gatherings of transgendered people were noted by their neighbors. These good people, educated in Christian values, complained to the civil authorities, who duly passed ordinances outlawing transgender expression, society, and existence. It was the cities who passed the laws against transgendered people. It must be noted that these laws were passed in the same climate and time that produced laws prohibiting citizens of African descent from owning property in the city limits, or of Catholics to operate schools. It should be noted that while the cities passed ordinances against transgendered people, the States were concerned with criminalizing homosexual conduct. City police, when they wanted to harrass homosexuals, used the ordinances against the transgendered as more visible targets. Thus, the Stonewall riots of 1969, naturally began with the standard sweeping arrests of transgendered people. The ordinances began to be repealed in the 1970s. It is perhaps fitting that the first governmental bodies to atone for past discrimination by passing anti-discrimination measures in the 1990s should be the very cities that once had laws designed to expose them to criminal sanction.

Laws criminalizing homosexuality were also used to incarcerate or force medical treatment on the transgendered. In the name of eugenics, homosexual and transgendered people were sterilized against their wills. Later, when hormones became available, various medical treatments were devised. Some sought to reduce the libido by suppressing natural hormones, others sought to replace putatively low hormones. These actions were done under the theory of enlightened criminologists that many lawbreakers were rehabilitable using modern medicine. It was rarely questioned in law enforcement that the law itself was in need of rehabilitation. But there were movements to do just that, lead by social reforming physicians such as Magnus Hirschfeld in Germany.

There were times, when the transgendered person came to the attention of the courts through the medical establishment, rather than the police, when compassionate justice prevailed. Until the mid to late century, the prevailing mechanism for transgendered people to gain protective legal status was to seek a change of sex status through correction of birth certificates or registry in the same manner as was done in cases of intersex, where physicians provide for a ‘second opinion’ as to a person’s sex later in life. The law literally saw transsexuals as a form of intersex and helpfully corrected sex designations when asked. It was not until the popular press created the myth of “sex change” that the law began to see transsexuals as separate from intersexed people. Only after this change in perception was it neccessary for specific statutes needed to secure a mechanism for transsexuls to change birth certificates and indentification cards. Even then it was done as an extension of the intersex theory, a reaffirmation, to counter the “sex change” paradigm.

At the turn of the century, the concepts of sexual orientation and gender identity were conflated. One was either a normal man or woman, or one was an abnormal psychosexual invert. In some respects this concept is closer to the modern concept of the classic transsexual in that it was conceptualized as a person who both identified with and shared the same sexual object as a normal member of the opposite sex. Only through education by the homophile community and open minded sexologists such as Evelyn Hooker and Alfred Kinsey was the homosexual person viewed as having a congruent gender identity, merely finding one’s own sex to be the chief object of amorous affections. This left the concept of gender identity separable from sexual attraction, opening the door to conceptualizing the catagories of the lesbian identified male to female and the gay male identified female to male transsexual. Still, it took the work of FTM transman Lou Sullivan in the late ‘70s, early ‘80s, to get the medical establishment to recognize the distinction.

There are three main currents of thought on the origin of gender identity in humans, Essentialism, Social Constructionism, and PsychoSocialism. In academic circles these differing theories are hotly debated. But in the lives of ordinary people, especially transgendered people, the model that is applied by the medical, educational, legal, and even parental authorities that transgendered people interact, as individuals and as a class, deeply influence the interaction and the outcomes.

PsychoSocial Theories

Though Sigmond Freud was from Austria originally, his work influenced North American thought to a greater degree than European. His thoughts on the developing sexual identity and sexuality of infants and children profoundly influenced how transgendered people would be viewed in North America. Freud felt that gender identity was mediated by the existance or absence of a penis, directly. In the case of the owner of a penis the discovery that not all humans have one occasions deep anxiety lest that delightful organ of pleasure might be removed. This “Castration Anxiety” led to a distancing of the owner of the penis from the caretaker who did not own one… presumably because that person might want to steal it. While simultaneously, the owner of the penis wishes to emulate the other caretaker who by good fortune still owns a penis. Thus the owner of a penis learns to be a boy. Meanwhile, the infant who does not own a penis discovers that there are individuals who do own one. This occasions extreme jealousy. This “Penis Envy” leads one to court, and compete for, the affections of the caretaker who owns this marvelous appendage, while simultaneously emulating the caretaker who does not own a penis, who demonstrates ways of successfully courting the affections of the owner of a penis. Thus the one who lacks a penis learns to be a girl.

The existance of transgendered people brought the theory a serious challenge. How to explain people who end up having the exact opposite reaction to the presence or absence of a penis? The first answer of any theorist to such a challenge is denial, “transgendered people are psychotic”, likening the transsexual to a delusional man who believes himself to be Napolean. This glib answer sufficed for those who had never actually spoken at length with transgendered people. But the diagnosis of psychosis failed to hold up apon examination. The challenge remained.

For FTM transgendered people the failure to resolve “Penis Envy” was enough explaination. But MTF trangendered people were still a mystery. The psychoanalytic theorists response was to posit a family constellation involving an overly close mother, who kept her son wrapped up in her emotional world, and a distant or absent father. The son could not make the emotional and subsequent identity break with his mother. Perhaps we can call this theory “Castration Envy”? This seemed at first glance to hold up well, since such family histories were indeed present in MTF transgendered people. Except it didn’t explain all of the cases since many profoundly transsexual MTF individuals had extremely good relationships with their fathers. The theory further broke down when comparing the statistics with non transgendered people. The were many families with an absent or emotionally distant father, the vast majority of single mothers, whose sons did not show signs of being transgendered. Though it remained popular to blame mothers, especially single mothers for all sorts of society’s woes, transgenderism was not able to hold up as being caused by family dynamics when tested statistically.

Still the psychoanalytic model held for most of the 20th Century, inspite of repeated failures of psychoanalytic therapy to dissuade transgendered people to abandon their gender identity. It is probably responsible for the prevailing attitude that Gender Identity Disorder is a psychiatric illness as defined by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistic Manual.

Toward the middle of the 20th Century, as the psychoanalytic model for all mental illness began to be cast into doubt, a new model of gender identity came into vogue, “Imprinting”. One the chief proponents of the theory was John Money, Ph.D. Observing that intersex infants with the same physical features at birth who had been assigned to different sexes both seemed to adjust equally well, Money theorized that there was a critical period in the infant’s early life when the parents’ sexually dimorphic treatment imprinted apon the child a congruent gender identity. The notion of imprinting comes from observation that some animals imprint the image of a caretaker in infancy. The popular image is that of gosslings first sight of a farmer’s child, who subsequently is followed around as “mother”. This lead to the standard procedure of early genital surgery for intersexed infants to unambiguously assign a sex, any sex, to child so that an unambiguous gender identity will be imprinted by parents and family who “know” the childs sex. It lead to a medical ethic of misinforming even the parents as to the intersexed nature of the child. It also resulted in sterilization of thousands of male children, who born with a phallus too small to be comfortably described as a penis were reassigned as female.

Transgender people were explained by the imprinting theory simularly to the psychoanalytic model, blaming the mother. Again, an overly emotionally close mother, and sometimes the father as well, coset and pamper a male child in a manner that the hapless male child gets the message that it is female. Sometimes it was noted that the feminine male child was “physically beautiful”, that is, like a pretty girl child, illiciting a response from adults in a manner that reinforces the mistaken identity as a female child. Similarly, a physically adventurous female child might illicit masculinizing responces.

Money’s hypothesis and recommendations lead directly to the tragedy and “experiment of opportunity” of John Theissen, a man who’s penis was accidentally destroyed during circumcision. Mr. Thessien was later surgically reassigned as female. His parents then proceeded to raise him as their daughter, while his identical twin brother served as “control”. When the children we several years old the clinics declared that the reassigned child was accepting “her” gender as a girl. The case became known as that of John/Joan. Money published this case as proof of his hypothesis. Unfortunately, John Theissen as a teen refused to continue the program, insisting that he was a boy… he grew to be a man, obtained phalloplasty, married, and is raising three children from his wife’s prior relationships. It can be said that his is a case of surgically created transsexuality, as his personal gender identity was at odds with his sex assignment as an infant. Mr. Theissen’s story was published in Rolling Stone magazine in the mid ‘90s after a scientic paper was published by Milton Diamond, a proponent of pre- and neonatal hormonal brain sex differentiation.

Social Constructionism:

As the Second Wave of Feminism grew in strength, critism of discrimination against women led to a reaction to prescribed restrictive societal roles for the sexes. “Biology is not destiny” became a rallying cry. What started out as a critism of socially constructed roles developed into a theory of gender which denied Essentialism in every form, stating instead that society took the biological differences of procreation, and instilled in them an artificial behavioral difference. The theory, thus expanded, denies that there is any natural basis for gender identity. Thus it denies to transgender people any rational cause… while at the same time, presenting no reason why not.

To some authors this meant that transgender people were free to express themselves in any manner they chose since all gender expression is as valid as any other. Only societal convention stands in the way of such freedom. Such conventions can be modified by the society as is deemed desirable. To some, all such restrictions are to be avoided, in a live and let live ethos.

Other authors, Janice Ramond and Germain Greer being notable examples, saw MTF transgender people as exploitive of women, aping the forms of femininity, supporting the artificial sexist forms that oppress women. It is interesting that in this regard they exhibit a hidden Essentialism, one that focusses on the genitalia as defining classes of human beings. They decried the restrictions on one class, while dispising those of the other class when they break those very restrictions.

Still the existence of transgender people poses a challenge to the social constructionist theory. One must explain both why gender identity exists, how it is perpetuated, enforced, and why some rare individuals “chose” to express a gender identity at odds with societally prescibed gender expression norms.

Performance Theory has it that we are taught to Perform Gender, to act it out, in the same way that we learn to act out social roles like teacher, student, friendly store clerk, police officer, etc. One is said to “do gender” rather than “have a gender”. This is very similar in basics to the psychosocial theory of imprinting, save that there is no instinctual basis for having the ability to absorb a particular gender identity. We are taught a set of gender behaviors that become so ingrained as habit that we forget that we are merely acting them out.

Transgender people are explained by this as having been improperly instructed. Even among those inclined toward psychosocial models as one would expect physicians to be, one finds this theory in currency. It is the model used in justifying Behavioral Modification Therapy to treat Gender Identity Disorder in children. Under the assumption that even though gender identity is arbitrarily socially constucted and taught to children, one should not allow children to express gender behavior different than the norm. Some rationize it on the basis of wanting the children to fit in, experience less rejection and bullying, a ‘blame the victim’ mentality. Others are simply moralists that insist that God has ordained that we should all behave in a certain prescribed manner.

One Post-Modern philosophical theory, one that has a striking resemblance to the psychosocial theory that transgendered people are simply crazy, has it that transgendered people are suffering under a “false consiousness”. That they are not really experiencing a gender at all… but an alienation from their social and biological reality. This theory is perhap the most transphobic of all theories in that it denies what is called in Post-Modern cant, “agency”, the characteristic of experiencing and expressing their existence and very real psychic pain.

Oppression Theory starts from the assumption that transgendered people are very much in command of their faculties and have made a rational decision to avoid societal restrictions on desires they experience. The usual script is that an ambitious woman noting that she is unable to succeed “in a man’s world”, dons mens clothes, assumes a fictious identity as a man, in order to achieve career success. These “passing women” are the darlings of the feminist historian because they are reveared as daring pioneers for women’s liberation, or they are held as examples, proof, of how horrible conditions were in some past epoch. To the feminist historian, modern FTM transsexuals are an embarrassing disproof of the theory. Similarly, Oppression theory is used to explain modern MTF transgendered people as being examples of internalized homophobia in gay men, too ashamed to live openly, and so have to “pretend” to be women in order to express their desire for same sex relations. To such gay male chauvenists, the fact that half of transgendered people identify as lesbian or gay male after transition, are an equally ebarrassing disproof of the theory.

Social Constructionist theories fail to note that ethnobiological studies of sexually dimorphic behavior in animals is not socially constructed for non-humans. Nor does it explain the cross cultural similarity and temporal stability of core gender identity throughout history around the world.

Essentialism:

Essentialism posits that men and woman are “made that way”. It is a deceptively self-evident fact that most everyone accepts since for over 99% of the population there is a clear cut correlation between genital morphology and gender identity. It is easy to for the average person to ignore the disquieting cases of intersex that cast doubt on the simplistic assumption of binary sex assignment. The question of which sex an intersex person “really is” demonstrates the esentiallist bias through much of Western Society for the past two centuries. Historically, Essentialism divided on which of two somatic characteristics was indicative of the “real sex” of an individual, genitalia or gonads. For most people the genitalia, the presence or absence of a penis was the overriding feature. As medical science grew more sophisticated in the 19th century, the gonads came to be the indicative feature. But early in the 20th Century the newly discovered chromosomes, specifically the presence or absence of the “Y” chromosome, became the newly crowned final arbiter of “real” sex. The faith in microscopic examination to “scientifically” determine one’s sex was unquestioned.

In 1968 the International Olympic Committee instituted chromosomal karyotyping for all female athletes. Any that did not have the required 46,XX chromosome karyotype were disqualified from competition, informed that, scientifically speaking, they were not women. The demonstrable fact that they had female genitalia, had lived as female all of their lives not knowing that they did not have the officially approved karyotype for women, did not enter into the unfeeling officials minds. Reductionist Essentialism had no room for intersexed people. They were counselled to fake an injury, slink away into silence to keep their shame of being “not female” from becoming known.

In 1970, the Corbet vs Corbet decision to nullify the marriage of a MTF transsexual to a non-transsexual man used karyotyping as the “scientific” marker for sex and gender that the law was henseforth to follow in the United Kingdom, throwing the legal status of transsexual and many intersexed people into limbo, neither male nor female.

Although essentialism has often been used as a philosophy to ‘prove’ that transsexuals and transgendered people do not have a valid claim to their identity, Essentialism still has explanitory power. If the locus of gender is found, not in the genitals or chromosomes, but elsewhere, transsexuals could be rationally described as “men trapped in women’s’ bodies” or “women trapped in mens’ bodies”. There are several loci that are, or have been proposed as the Essential Seat of Gender, but they come down to two main catagories, “Brain Sex”, and “The Soul”.

Many religions have a concept of an essential self, separable from the body. In Judeo-Christian-Moslem belief systems one’s soul separates from the body after death. This soul retains the sense of self, including gender indentity. Some religious thought includes the concept of the soul entering the body at some point in becoming a living being… and therefor must become, or always have been a gendered self. For religions that included the concept of reincarnation, the notion that a being always returns to the same sex body suggested an explanation for transgendered identity. Once in a while, a soul finds itself in the wrong sexed body. This idea was openly discussed in newsletters published in the ‘60s and ‘70s by the Erickson Education Foundation, as this was the personal belief of Reed Erickson, the Foundations benefactor. The Church of Latterday Saints (Mormon) debated the issue of pre-born souls finding themselves in the wrong body with Kristi Independence Kelly in 1980 at her excommunication. The Church held that, though the pre-born souls did have a gender before birth, God did not make mistakes: “There is no such thing as a man in a woman’s body or a woman in a man’s body” was declared, ex-cathedra by the leader fo the Mormon faith. Apparently, intersexed people must have also intersexed souls?

Some non-Judeo-Christian-Moslem cultures held that transgendered people were indeed gendered souls in the wrong body. Some believed that this juxtaposition have the transgendered person a special status with the spirits of nature or the powers. In ancient times in the mediteranean culture, MTF transsexual women became priestesses, Galla, of the goddess, Cebele. The Hopi Nation held that a transgendered spirit, or katchina, sent visions to transgendered people. In India, the hijra, transgendered and intersexed people are both reviled and revered, given varying circumstances. Mystical Essentialism has played an important role in various cultures, including our own.

The early 20th Century european researchers and medical practitioners believed that gender and sexual behavior in general are the result of a sexually dimorphic brain. That is to say that the brain itself has a sex. This sex usually conforms with the chromosomal and the genital sex. However, just as there can be chromosomal and genital >intersex conditions, the brain might also exhibit intersex morphology leading to behavior and that elusive personal experience, gender identity, at odds with either somatic or chromosomal sex. Magnus Hirschfeld, a leading early researcher described the entire spectrum of what today we would call Queer expression, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, as forms of “Sexual Intermediates”, or intersex. This was not a metaphor or a rationalization. Instead it was an earnest theory, based on careful observation and scientific generalization, understanding the then current lack of neurological science. Hirschfeld and his colleague, Harry Benjamin believed that as our understanding of the brain grew we would discover just where and how the brain was organized to produce sexual orientation and gender identity. For Hirschfeld, there was no major divide between non-conforming sexual orientation and gender identity, they were simply different forms that intersex could take. Thus for Hirschfeld, the late 20th century division between the concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation, the great political divide between the gay & lesbians and the transgender community would be meaningless. To Hirschfeld, we are all transgendered, gay and transsexual alike.

In the first decades of the century, experiments with cross sex gonadal implants in animals suggested that there was a connection between hormones and gender specific behavior. This lead to horrific experiments in humans during the NAZI era and beyond as hormones became available as a common pharmaceutical. Testosterone was administered to gay men and MTF transgendered people in an attempt to ‘cure’ them. The hormone treatments had no effect on the sexuality or gender identity of the experiments. No lasting harm was done to the gay men. But the supermasculinizing effects on the transgendered victims was severely traumatizing.

In the later decades of the century, neuroscientists found significant sexual dimorphism in microstructures in the brains of animals and humans. Experiments on rats indicated that hormone levels during a period in late gestation and early post-natal development to be critical to the development of these structures and subsequent behavior. Gorby was able to create what he described as a laboratory model of transsexuality in rats. He demonstrated this in both MTF and FTM cases. When he introduced them to each other, the FTM rats mounted the receptive MTF rats.

Using human children to explore gender identity and sexual orientation would be extremely unethical in the laboratory, but science often uses “experiments of opportunity”. Simon La Vey used autopsy material from straight and gay men who had died from aids to find that a small microstructure of the brain differed in the two populations, suggestive of a sexual orientation controlling microstructure. The same technique of using autopsy was performed by Swaab to discover a different structure associated with gender identity. Shaffer, in an as yet unpublished study, used MRI data from a large pool of controls, MTF and FTM transsexuals to demonstrate that the corpus collosum showed sexually dimorphic structures that, on a statistical basis, correlated with gender identity. Both Swaab’s and Shaffer’s work ruled out effects of hormones in adulthood.

The early data is tantalizing, and agrees with laboritory findings using animals. However, it is also known that experience can shape the brain. Lack of sensory stimulus and a chance to work out problems leads to dramaticly less brain development in infantile rats. In humans there is a suggestion that early musical training affects the shape of the corpus collosum, building greater connectivity between the two hemispheres of the brain. These early experiences suggest that early gender experiences could also lead to sexual dimorphism in the human brain by a similar mechanism. This would agree with Dr. Money’s imprinting hypothesis… But would be at odds with Gorby’s work with rats, and the results of the case of “John/Joan”.

Science could very well demonstrate that the seat of sexual orientation and gender identity is located in the brain. How that arises developmentally is still open for further research.

transhistory.org/history/TH_Theory.html – 2003

The Rights of Man, Woman and Transsexual

Employers are disturbingly ignorant of sex change issues, say . With 5,000 transsexuals in Britain, issues about gender reassignment are arising within the workplace with increasing regularity. Several employers have sought advice from us in the past year about the treatment of employees undergoing gender reassignment. Although few cases about transsexuals have been reported, it is clear from the output of the Equal Opportunities Commission that many cases are being brought, and often settled. But there appears to be a disturbing ignorance among employers about the legal protection of transsexuals and good equal opportunities practice.

In 1996 the European Court of Justice held, in the case of P v S and Cornwall County Council, that the dismissal of an employee because she was starting gender reassignment was unfair and contrary to the European Equal Treatment Directive. As a result, the Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations 1999 were brought into force. They amended the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 to extend protection in employment and vocational training to anyone who ‘intends to undergo, is undergoing or has undergone gender reassignment’.

Gender reassignment is defined as ‘a process undertaken under medical supervision for the purpose of reassigning a person_s sex by changing physiological or other characteristics of sex and includes any part of such a process’. There is no definition of ‘intends’ within the regulations but clearly more than cross-dressing is envisaged (although individual freedom of expression by way of dress is now to some extent protected by the Human Rights Act 1998). The category of individuals protected is wide, with no differentiation between pre and post-operative transsexuals.

Less favourable treatment of a transsexual is permissible in limited circumstances: where the job requires performance of intimate physical searches or doing work or living in a private home where objection may reasonably be taken by the individual to this degree of intimacy and contact. These genuine occupational qualifications are applicable at all stages of the gender reassignment process.

There are two further exceptional circumstances: where it is necessary for the employee to live in shared accommodation, or where personal services are being provided to vulnerable individuals ‘and in the reasonable view of the employer those services cannot be effectively provided by a person whilst that person is undergoing gender reassignment’. However, these two genuine occupational qualifications do not apply to individuals who have undergone gender reassignment.

There is thus, evidently, potential for difficulty with, for example, a care worker who has completed the process of changing but by whom an elderly client does not wish to be cared because the client is aware of the transsexuality. A refusal to provide work would amount to discrimination. Employers and prospective employers should bear in mind that tribunals are able to draw the inference of discrimination from the very fact of less favourable treatment.

It is often practical issues that cause difficulties at work. In particular, there is the question of which lavatory a transsexual should use. The answer is straightforward: whichever he or she prefers to use. If this preference causes embarrassment among staff, the employer must attempt to inculcate a more enlightened attitude. A last resort may be to agree with the transsexual that a lavatory be designated as unisex (this should preferably not be the same as the disabled facility).

This course of action was approved by an employment tribunal in the 1999 case of Bourne v Roberts & the Post Office. Equally, employers are often concerned about when other employees should be informed about a change of gender. All that is required is agreement on a timescale and to be flexible. Again, it should be borne in mind that the legislation encompasses the whole process from the stage of intention onwards. Personnel records should be updated at an appropriate point, and any references to previous gender removed (save if required for specific and legitimate purposes, such as insurance or pension records). It is an anomaly at present that transsexuals are unable to alter their birth certificates to reflect a change in sex.

The regulations do not address the question of discrimination in areas other than employment, such as education and access to goods, facilities and services. However, it is recognised that domestic legislation is inadequate and is likely to be expanded. Last May a case brought by a transsexual, Lisa Jones, against a landlord who asked her to stay away from his pub in Honley, near Huddersfield, settled for £1,000 compensation plus a £600 contribution towards costs. We can expect more such cases in future.

By Lucy McLynn and William Garnett

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

Frequently Asked Questions about Transsexuality

Most of us are perfectly comfortable with the fact that we are male or female. In fact we normally never give it a thought. But there are a very few people who feel they were born with the wrong body – men who feel they should have been born women and vice versa. These people suffer from a recognised medical condition known as gender dysphoria and are generally referred to as transsexual.

Because transsexual people are born with bodies that seem perfectly normal to other people, we may suspect that the source of these deep seated feelings about the body arises from the brain. A report from the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research confirms this theory. In examining the brains of many individuals, including homosexual men, heterosexual men and women and six male-to-female transsexuals, they found that a tiny region known as the central region of the bed nucleus of the stria terininalis (BSTc), which is believed to be responsible for gender identity, was larger in men than in women. The BSTc of the six transsexuals was as small as that of women, thus the brains of the transsexuals seem to coincide with their conviction that they are women.

The rate of occurrence of transsexuality is not accurately known. Because of the social stigma attached to being transsexual, arising from a widespread lack of awareness of the true nature of the condition, it is something that is often kept hidden. Therefore it is only possible to collect statistics on the numbers of declared transsexuals and such figures undoubtedly represent only a proportion of those affected. Not very long ago estimates of the rate of occurrence of male-to-female transsexuality might have been around 1 in 100,000 of the male population. Today, with the greater awareness and openness that exists, some estimates now put the figure at greater than 1 in 10,000. It is known that other chromosomal or intersexed conditions can have rates of occurrence of, or approaching, 1 in 1,000 of the population and it may well be that this is the true order of magnitude of transsexuality.

Rates of occurrence of known female-to-male transsexuals are significantly lower, typically being around 1/3 to 1/4 of the rate for male-to-female transsexuals. However, this rate has varied somewhat with time and between different parts of the world. This suggests that varying cultural factors might play a role in the decision to be open about the condition.

The currently accepted and effective model of treatment for the condition of transsexuality utilises hormone therapy and surgical reconstruction and may include counselling and other psychotherapeutic approaches. Speech therapy and facial surgery may be appropriate for some male to females, and most will need electrolysis to remove beard growth and other body hair. In all cases, the length and kind of treatment provided will depend on the individual needs of the patient. The male to female will take a course of female hormones (oestrogen) similar to those used in the contraceptive pill and HRT, the female to male will take the male hormone testosterone.

At this time they will also be required to carry out the Real Life Test, during which they will be required to legally change their name and all documents to show their new gender identity. All documents including passport, driving licence, medical card, etc can be changed, but at present it is not possible for UK citizens to change their birth certificate. During the Real Life Test they will also be expected to live, work and socialise full time in the new gender role, to deal with any problems which may arise for example at work or within the family, and generally become familiar with the reality of living this way. After a minimum of a year (two years if being treated via the NHS) if the Real Life Test has been successful and the psychiatrist is satisfied with the person’s progress, they can be referred for surgery. After surgery the person will continue to take hormones for the rest of their life, but probably at a reduced dosage.

Because the BSTc is so small none of the non-invasive imaging techniques currently available can measure it, it cannot be detected through scans, X-rays of blood tests. Diagnosis is carried out through lengthy and in-depth assessment by a specialist consultant psychiatrist, however it is important to understand that gender dysphoria is not a psychiatric condition, nor is it a mental disorder.

In a male to female transsexual person, the effects of feminising hormones vary greatly from patient to patient but most patients experience noticeable changes within 2-3 months, with irreversible effects after as little as 6 months.

The main effects of feminising hormones are as follows:

1) Fertility and ‘male’ sex drive drop rapidly, erections become infrequent or unobtainable and this may become permanent after a few months.

2) Breasts develop, the nipples expand and the areolae darken to some extent, but typical final breast size is usually somewhat smaller than that of close female relatives.

3) Body and facial fat is redistributed. The face becomes more typically feminine, with fuller cheeks and less angularity. In the longer term, fat tends to migrate away from the waist and be re-deposited at the hips and buttocks, giving a more feminine figure.

4) Body hair growth often reduces and body hair may lighten in both texture and colour. There is seldom any major effect on facial hair, although if the patient is undergoing electrolysis, hormone treatment does noticeably reduce the strength and amount of re-growth. Scalp hair often improves in texture and thickness, and male pattern baldness generally stops progressing.

5) Many people report sensory and emotional changes: heightened senses of touch and smell are common, along with generally feeling more ’emotional’. Mood swings are common for a while following commencement of hormone therapy or any change in the regime.

In the female to male transsexual, where biological females are prescribed androgens, changes include:

1) A permanent deepening of the voice, this usually occurs within four months and is irreversible.

2) Permanent clitoral enlargement occurs.

3) Some breast atrophy, but at this stage it is usual to bind the breasts.

4) There is cessation of menstruation within three to six months

5) Increased strength and weight gain particularly around the waist and upper body with decreased hip fat. With exercise this can take the form of muscular development. Testosterone will not alter height or bone structure.

6) Growth of facial and body hair is likely to follow the pattern of hair growth inherent in the family, for example if other male members of the patient’s family have a tendency to baldness or if they do not have a great deal of body hair this is what can be expected with hormone treatment.

7) Increased social and sexual interest and arousability may occur and there may also be heightened feelings of aggression.

The most frequent form of surgery for male to female patients is known as penile inversion. When carried out by a skilled and experienced gender surgeon the results look almost indistinguishable from the external genitals of a natal woman. The transsexual women, however, does not have ovaries and a womb, is not able to conceive and does not have monthly periods. During the operation tissue and skin from the penis and scrotum is relocated to form a vagina and clitoris. Following surgery the patient will need to keep the newly formed vagina from closing up by performing regular dilation.

In the female to male, surgery is often carried out in stages, and the first stage is usually removal of the breasts with a bilateral mastectomy during which the nipples are preserved but may need to be reduced in size. The next stage is usually hysterectomy and oophorectomy to remove uterus and ovaries. Both these stages are commonly performed operations and can be carried out by any competent surgeon who does not necessarily need experience of gender reassignment surgery. Further stages are more specialised and involve metaidoioplasty for construction of a microphallus by surgically releasing the enlarged clitoris, or possibly phalloplasty which is construction of a penis. There are various techniques in use for phalloplasty, but as yet there is no method which can produce a totally realistic and fully functioning penis. Scrotoplasty may be carried out at the same time, or separately, to create a scrotum from the labia and silicone implants.

There is no evidence of any genetic link to the condition of gender dysphoria and therefore it is not something that is known to be passed down through generations of the same family. Nobody knows exactly what causes the condition, although there are various theories that consider a possible link between hormone disturbance in the mother during the first weeks of pregnancy or other interruptions to the normal course of pregnancy while the foetus is at a critical point of development.Is this Person a Man or a Woman?

In this example let us look at the male to female transsexual person. Gender dysphoria occurs when the person believes themselves to be a woman, their brain knows them to be a woman, even though their physical body may be that of a man. The only ‘cure’ for gender dysphoria is to change the body to match the brain. Therefore after surgery both brain and body are those of a woman. This person is in all respects a woman, even her passport will show this. It is therefore extremely painful for such a person to be addressed as ‘him’ or ‘Mr’. Having gone through so much to find a sense of inner peace in their true gender role, they should rightly expect to be treated as the woman they know themselves to be.

Even after hormone treatment and surgery, a transsexual male to female, may still retain certain male physical characteristics. These may include a voice that is unusually deep for a woman, or they may be very tall, or have large, hands and feet and heavy bones, particularly in the jaw and brow area of the face. They may have a receding hairline and need to wear a wig. When you meet this person for the first time you may feel shocked, uncomfortable or uncertain how to treat them. Hopefully you will understand that this is a medical condition for which the person is receiving treatment from highly qualified doctors and consultants, that they have been carefully assessed and diagnosed, and in many cases their treatment has been carried out under the National Health Service. If you think of it in this way you will find it easier to accept that this is a genuine and serious situation. If you are willing to accept this person for who they are, you will be helping them to adjust to a very difficult life challenge, and you may find you are making a very good and loyal friend.

What is the Difference Between Transvestite and Transsexual?

The differences are very distinct between a person who cross dresses and someone whose brain is telling them they belong to the opposite gender role. The transvestite may just cross dress occasionally, or may enjoy dressing regularly either in the privacy of their own home or to socialise. Some live full time in female clothes, but they always retain their core identity of themselves as male and will not want to consider gender surgery. Generally TVs who are “out” are sociable and may attract a lot of attention, they may enjoy wearing outrageous or fetish outfits and spend a lot of time involved with their clothes and appearance. It has often been observed that TVs tend to be heterosexual males while drag queens and female impersonators are often gay men. Although transsexual people are often very concerned about their dress and appearance, this is not the driving force behind their cross dressing. For the transsexual person clothes are an expression of their core female identity and many strive to blend in by studying how women of their age and background dress and learning how to tailor their appearance and mannerisms to attract as little attention as possible.

The above is a general guideline, but this is far from being a black and white issue and most cross dressers would place themselves somewhere on a gradient between the outrageous female impersonator at one extreme and the totally integrated post operative transsexual at the other. Many people who later go on to complete full gender reassignment begin the search for their true identity within the transvestite community, perhaps this is the only obvious and safe place where they feel they can cross dress. Also there are very few social groups where transsexual people meet, so those who enjoy socialising may be attracted to transvestite clubs. Many individuals feel very confused about their true gender identity, so how can an outsider be expected to judge whether a person is TV or TS when that person themselves does not know – or cannot accept – where their true identity lies and is therefore not giving out any clear signals about themself.

Long before they begin medical treatment, in fact often long before they even realise what is happening within them, most transsexual people will already show signs of thinking and behaving in ways more usual to the sex opposite to that of their physical appearance. They will frequently recall knowing from childhood that they were in some way “different” and it is usual for a transsexual woman to remember dressing in the clothes of a mother or sister, having a dislike for traditional boys’ toys and games, and feeling more comfortable in the company of girls.

Because of social pressures, particularly on young men, many transsexual people enter a period of denial in their late teens, in which they try to suppress any thoughts or feelings to do with their gender identity. For example it is common for a male to female to take up a typically male profession such as the armed forces, police, engineering, lorry driving, and also to marry and have children. They tell themselves that this proves they cannot possibly be a woman. At this time of their life they may also absorb themselves totally in a career – often becoming very successful – or in some form of sport or hobby which occupies all their spare time. Some may continue to cross dress.

But in time the stress begins to build until the person no longer feels able to keep this thing hidden and they need to seek help and medical treatment. When the gender dysphoria has been suppressed in this way for many years, the person may have developed other problems such as severe depression or a dependence on alcohol or drugs, and this will also need to be dealt with, along with any commitments to family responsibilities. There may be a break with wife, children and siblings, a change of career, loss of home, money and security, so the road to gender transition is an extremely difficult and often painful one.

Transsexual people often reveal themselves to be extremely isolated individuals, some people never make it through transition. Those who do have to find a lot of inner strength and determination to keep going. During transition these people need the support and understanding of friends and family as well as work colleagues and society in general. After surgery it is common for many people to melt away into society, living a normal life and often nobody guesses what they have been through. However the scars created by the pain of living with gender dysphoria for many years may remain and make it difficult for them to settle into an ordinary lifestyle.

Transsexual people are just ordinary people who experience all the challenges and problems that everyone has to deal with. Some are optimistic and cheerful, some slip easily into depression, some are determined, some are fragile, some make friends easily, some find socialising difficult. They are people like everyone else – they also suffer from a condition called gender dysphoria.

Understand what is happening, and accept the person for who they truly are – this is often all a transsexual person wants from you. Try to offer encouragement and support. Imagine how you would feel if it was you – take a moment to try and imagine how you would feel if you woke up tomorrow morning to find your body had become the opposite gender.

After all it could easily have been you who was born with this medical condition, nobody knows exactly what causes it but the dysphoria is believed to occur in an unborn baby during the first three months of the mother’s pregnancy. Someone who has already been through so much does not need to be victimised and taunted, humorous remarks, clever comments and other subtle ways of intimidation can cause intense pain. Also remember it is now against the law to discriminate against someone because they are transsexual.

Gender Trust – 2003

My Facial Feminisation Surgery

Smoakie Bulle Just after midnight on New Year’s Eve 2000, six months or so ago, my friends and myself were invited into a house across the road from where I live to join a party. It was one of those only- on-New-Year’s-Eve-with-a-skinful-occasions, and when I went in I was treated as the bloke across the road in a frock. It was he and him without cease – they just saw me as male, unbelievably, and I began this year deep in yet more of those unending tears back at my flat. Will this never end, I said, is there no way out of this? After all I have done, after living well as a woman for all this time, rarely read, or so I thought, after Sex Reassignment Surgery, after thousands of little white oestrogen pills, with a skin like a baby, a girl at last and happy and well in my world? After all I’ve been through, and it means nothing?

Right, I said to my partner, gritting my teeth yet again, this is it. I’ve had enough, I won’t live with this. I’m going to have my face fixed this year no matter what. You see, I knew what it was these people were seeing, what it was in me that made them see the old maleness; it was in the structures of the bones of my face, and this is what I decided had to be changed. In for a penny, in for a pound, that’s my way. I forgot how to spell kompromize a long time ago. Why stop before the end? Why not the best?

I stumbled on the Anne Lawrence website (annelawrence.com/twr) years ago, and with its links it has led me through many a maze, and it was here that I learned of Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). Go and look for yourself, and what you will find is a revelation. Once you see it, it’s obvious, and male and female faces are never the same again. It all comes down to hormones again, that demon testosterone and the ravages it had on our bodies and minds.

In late adolescence, boys turn into young men. I’ve watched this happen to my son, who is now eighteen. The bones change, and what makes a man a man, and brings a woman like myself a life behind a mask, is the creation of, from the top down;

The brow ridge, and brow bossing. For me, the most significant of all. Like many results of the work of testosterone, my browridge formed almost a hood over my eyes. The line of the forehead in profile came down, then out just before the eyes, then right in. Oestrogen does not make this happen, and the brow in natal women remains the same as in children, where the line of the forehead comes straight down, leaving the eyes more open and unhooded. As we first look at the eyes when we meet someone, this subconscious marker of gender is highly significant.

The nose in the natal female is often smaller, narrower, less significant; the testosterone nose wider, more powerful a presence.

The prominence of the chin and the line of the jaw. This is more well-known. The female chin comes more to a point, it is rounded and is slighter in profile; it doesn’t stick out so much. The testosterone jaw is often wider, coming to strong angled points below the ears.

Of course, faces come in billions of forms, none of them the same, and masculinity and femininity shows in other ways on the face, but the main markers of maleness and femaleness are consistent. Freud said that the first point of recognition when we meet a person is that of gender; is this a male or a female? The rest of identity follows, is built on this. The subconscious indicators of gender come in the form of dress and body language, ways of moving, ways of dressing, the skin, the voice, the way we speak, the way the person feels to us; on and on. Many of these we can work at and change, but the bone structures of the face, the frame upon which the skin hangs, can only be changed by surgery, and this is what we look at first, this is what sets the tone for all that folows.

If you look on the Net, you will mostly see the work of Dr Ousterhout in San Francisco. The results of this surgery can be astonishing; craggy male faces turned into attractive women’s. For some, a life which would be unbearable becomes a joy.

No wonder so many transsexual women don’t mind what Dr Ousterhout charges; anything to get me out of this! When I contacted some of the women who had put their results up on the Internet, I was told of Ousterhout’s costs, and my heart sank. Around $28,000. Plus two trips to San Franscisco. It comes to around £20,000. A great surgeon, no doubt, but way too expensive for me.

So I looked for alternatives. This was not so easy. What I was looking for specifically was a cranio-maxillary-aesthetic surgeon with experience of transforming the transsexual face at a good price. I needed a surgeon who works with the bone structures of the face, with empathy and understanding of who and what I am, and these guys hardly come on every street corner.

Still, with determination I found one, not advertised at all, tucked off in a corner of Belgium. Dear Dr Noorman van der Dussen. I went to see him in February, loved him, and had extensive facial surgery at the Eeufeestkliniek in Antwerp on April 18th. Not bad, eh? Less than four months from New Year’s Eve and it was all done.

I had my brow ridge removed; Dr Noorman van der Dussen (all of this is his surname, let’s call him Dr NvvD) told me afterwards that he had removed about 1 centimetre of bone from over my eyes. A centimetre! Usually these things are done in millimetres. I had a lot to lose.

My nose, which was always slender, had its upturned, ski-jump end removed. My upper lip was enhanced. My chin was narrowed, taken back, the angle changed, and the jaw line altered to fit. Seven hours on the operating table; not a small thing to do.

I left the clinic the day after surgery and went to a hotel, amazingly, but it was fine. As Dr NvvD said, all you need is comfort to recover, better and cheaper in a hotel. I had two days of great discomfort, but almost no pain at all, thank God. How lovely I looked; bandages over the scalp, right round the jaw, my nose in a plastic cover taped to my face, one eye closed completely and the colour of a red fruit, the other open a crack, gorgeous colours everywhere, looking like a creature from a strange part of the universe in Star Wars.

But recovery was swift. Five days after surgery I was out in the Belgian countryside with the friend who came with me – bless you Jane, where would I be without you? – and a new transsexual friend I made in the hotel, enjoying pancakes and coffee. Avoid the tea; this is not England. I had on so much covering make-up I could hardly lift my head, and there was swelling in plenty which made me look a little odd, but I made it.

Then I was back home less than a week after surgery, feeling tired and full of anaesthetic, but not too bad. No signs of surgery at all. Incisions were made behind the hairline for the forehead, inside the mouth for the chin and jaw. It was like a miracle had happened.

It took a few weeks for the whole thing to settle in properly, but it did, and now I am fine. But the test of the pudding is in the eating, and the test of FFS is not only in the looking, but in how I feel, the most important thing of all. And what I have to tell you is that I am very happy. It’s made all the difference in the world. When my friends look at me, they still see Persia. It’s not as if I have another face; what’s happened is that my own face has been softened and opened. It has been feminized. The work is subtle and very well done, integral, looking so natural that many people have no idea anything has been done at all. You are looking well, Persia, they say, not knowing what they are seeing.

The greatest effect can be seen in profile. All the prominent angles of my face have been removed. The overhanging brow, the ski-jump nose, the angular chin, all replaced with softness. I love it. I now have none of the indicators of the male on my face. I have always felt that the transsexual transition was, for me, a restoration of my own true being, and now I have even restored my own face. It is no longer the face of a brother I never had.

And I feel completely relaxed now. I am seen as a woman now, almost completely, except for on one of those bad days when nothing goes well. I am what I am, a transsexual woman, and there will always be someone somewhere who knows. But so little, so rarely that I no longer care.

The feelings of this cannot be expressed better than in the words of anon (name witheld by request), who underwent FFS at the hands of Dr. DouglasOusterhout in San Francisco, but the same is true of Dr Noorman van der Dussen, and anon expresses my own feelings with a beauty I cannot hope to match.

” When I went out before my surgery, no amount of radiated joy and peace would have kept me from being perceived oddly by some. I’m not talking about passing here, I’m talking about how, as a human being, people saw me. I want people to see *me* clearly, not through the filter of doubt about who I might be. Even as happy and upbeat as I was prior to surgery with Doug, the lines and curves in my face that didn’t belong to me abraded my confidence, were as wrong as a lock of hair that stands away from your scalp that no amount of coaxing can keep down.

I am sure that if Doug’s work did not exist, I would have made the best of it, but I suspect that as much happiness as I would have mined out of life, the difference between who I am and who my face said I was would have eaten away at me. Who knows.

Results aside, it allows me to not simply move through the world and society — the best I could hope for beforehand — but to actively embrace it, to find a peace within myself, or the possibility for it, that others see and perceive. It is a wonderful resonant cycle as the relaxed comfort in my own skin radiates from me to others, who in turn sense my centeredness and reflect happiness back at me.

It’s how I feel too. Undergoing this surgery has let me cross the line into my own womanhood in a way I could not quite manage before, no matter how well I did, how good I looked, and even then I could go to the women only sessions at the swimming pool and feel almost at ease. Now I am completely relaxed, found myself chatting to other women in the showers while we waited for one to be free the other day without me noticing what I was doing – an amazing feat of transformation when I think back to my early days.

There is a form of trasngendered political correctness in the USA these days which states that we should be accepted as we are, no matter how we are, this being our truth, this being one form of human existence the world needs to accept as another normalcy. We should be proud of who we are, no matter how we look.

Very good, but my own truth is that I am just a simple girl from Liverpool who wants to live without problem in this world; more than that, to live here with joy. I was like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – but I wanted to come home even more than she did. And I’ve made it, I’m back in Kansas, back in Brighton actually, just living in the world but now with restored exquisite normalcy. I am a very happy and fulfilled person, and my life is opening like a flower. What I have done, despite having no money to speak of, you can do too. Go for it.

The cost of the surgery with Dr Noorman van der Dussen, by the way, came to around £6,500. Not cheap, but a bargain in British or U.S. surgical terms. About a third of the cost here, if you could find the surgeon, and I don’t think he or she exists. I had SRS in Belgium too, under the kind knife of Dr. Seghers, a complete coincidence, so I know about Belgian medicine. It’s very good indeed, recommended.

By Persia West June 2001

Rich Man, Poor Man, Transsexual Woman

Summer 1955 and this child’s fate has already been determined by nature.

A child giggles whilst drinking the bath water from an egg cup. It is 1955 and not long since the national press have reported the story of a Spitfire pilot and racing driver who has “become” a woman through what we now call Gender Reassignment Treatment.

The child’s parents have registered and christened her as a boy. How is anyone to know any different? Within three years “he” will know otherwise though … and the little girl inside will have learned enough about life already not to mention her profound self knowledge to anyone.

In years to come she will learn that people who seek the treatment to release them from this silent hell are labelled as freaks and get hounded by the press. They are shunned by their families and friends. They are treated with less respect than murderers and rapists. Anything they receive from medical specialists or authority is to be regarded as a grudging and contemptuous concession which they don’t really deserve. Not surprisingly, she will seek to bury her terrifying self knowledge deep within herself.

As enlightenment gradually dawns on society, sometime in her thirties, she will wince though when she sees women like her described as having been “born a man”.

A man? Look again at the photograph. You could no more call the child a “man”, than you could label them a “Computer Consultant”, “Conservative” or “Rights Campaigner”. Yet all of these labels are a part of her development potential, just as her innate femininity means she will not rest until she finds her true self-expression within society.

So, eventually, she will come to the agonising choice which confronts all transsexual people in the end … made worse for having deferred it until mid life. She will have to decide how to deal with the partner and family she acquired whilst trying to be what everyone expected of her. She will have to put her career on the line. She will lose her home and tens of thousands of pounds through divorce. She will lose some of her friends. For a while she will wonder if she deserves to keep her own self respect. Yet the choice is between that and suicide. For a life which is a perpetual lie … a life which gets more painful with every passing day of the soul’s denial … is no life at all.

Make believe? No. Increasing research evidence indicates that everything which transsexual people have ever reported about their mysterious juxtaposition of psychological gender and physical sex is true. The more science is inclined to look, the more it finds to substantiate the discovery that children like the little “boy” in the picture above really did already have the brain of a little girl.

Nobody can be blamed for assuming this little girl was a boy. If we have to have a basis for distinguishing how we’re going to differentiate the type of upbringing we’re to give our children then the appearance of their genitals is no more and no less arbitrary than the colour of their skin or the country they were born in. What matters, however, is how we respond when the child is old enough to turn round and say that we got it wrong in their case.

It helps, of course, to be sophisticated enough to be able to accept such an assertion with the respect it deserves. If society attaches such importance to gender then it’s hardly a trivial thing when you know you’ve been dragooned into the wrong one. Transsexuals need help, not hindrance, if they are to manage a transition which affects every single way in which they relate to the world around them.

More than that, however, a compassionate and sensible society will recognise that once such a change has occurred then there is absolutely no benefit to anyone in making it anything less than a 100% change. Society only has two social genders to choose from. Man and Woman. To cripple a man with a legal status which regards him as a woman, or to say that a woman cannot marry a man because of her long-since-removed birth deformity is to erect a deliberate barrier to the otherwise successful functioning of that individual. It is, in short, like breaking a man’s leg because you don’t want to accept that he can walk.

And that is all that we in Press for Change seek from British society. The right to walk. To stand on our own two feet after being forced to crawl for almost thirty years. It’s not a lot, is it?

This information sheet is compiled from an article by Press for Change, the organisation which campaigns for rights for transsexual people. To find out more about Press For Change visit their website at pfc.org.uk or write to them at:- Press For Change, BM Network, London WC1N 3XX

By Christine Burns, April 1997

My Teenage Son Wants to be a Woman

Beth Thomas always knew her son Adam was different she just couldn’t put her finger on it. At times she grew despondent at his mood swings. Adam was spending more and more time alone in his bedroom and when Beth asked what was wrong he wouldn’t answer properly.

“I’d always wondered if Adam was gay,” says Beth, 49, an office manager from Southend, Essex. “Even when he was growing up he’d always choose girls’ clothes instead of boys’ and play with the girls at school. I thought it was just a matter of time before he told me.”

But a few years later, when Adam was 18, he dropped a bombshell. He wasn’t gay but he wanted to change sex.

“I knew telling Mum would be one of the hardest things I’d ever have to do,” says Adam who’s now living as Zoe. “She’d always been quite open-minded but I knew telling her I wanted a sex change was going to be difficult. It would be hard for anyone to deal with.”

Five years earlier, Adam had started to feel uncomfortable about his identity and sank into a deep depression.

“It didn’t help that I was being bullied at school,” explains Zoe, 19. “I simply didn’t want to do any of the things other boys did like play football, fight and so on. I even took ballet lessons for a while. I’d get called a poof and be pushed around. I felt suicidal”

But when puberty hit, things got worse. “I started growing facial hair and it simply didn’t feel right,” adds Zoe. “I felt disgusted by it. I developed a sex drive too and that was very confusing. I wondered if I was gay but I fancied girls, though I felt more like them than a teenage boy.”

Adam left school at 16 to take a course in computing. There he found an outlet for his frustrations and made some friends. “There were boys at college who experimented with makeup.” recalls Zoe. “So I could wear lipstick and dress in sarongs without other students thinking I was strange.”

It was six months later that Adam discovered why he was feeling the way he was.

Surfing the Internet one night in July 1999 he came across the word ‘transsexual‘.

He logged on to the website and everything began to make sense. “There were stories about women trapped in men’s bodies,” recalls Zoe. “I identified with them strongly and nearly shouted out that’s me! Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. I was frightened about the future but the overwhelming feeling was one of relief.”

Adam discovered there were operations and hormone treatments available for transsexuals to help them cope with their feelings.

“Almost immediately I knew I was really a girl,” says Zoe. “I asked Mum what she would have called me if I’d been born a girl. She said Zoe and that’s what I decided to call my alter ego my real self.”

Adam confided in friends first of all. “My closest friend Michelle said, ‘Oh, cool! If that will make you happy,'” remembers Zoe. “My other friends, Alex and Mike, didn’t seem shocked at all. The only comment they made was at Christmas when Alex said he didn’t know what to get me as he’d never bought anything for a girl before.”

Adam, an only child who’s had no contact with his father since his parents split up five years ago, was still petrified about telling his mum. It wasn’t until Christmas Eve 1999 that the truth came out.

“I came home and found him wearing one of my Chinese dresses,” recalls Beth. “I was stunned and asked him what he was doing. He burst into tears, sat down and hid his face. He told me he wanted a sex change. I told him he was messed up. I didn’t think he could be serious. The only transsexual I knew was Hayley in Coronation Street. He was far too young to be making decisions like this. Looking back I feel awful about the way I reacted.”

Over the next six months, Adam and Beth often rowed about his identity crisis.

“She kept saying it was stupid.” says Zoe, who works for an Internet company. “I tried to explain that I was really Zoe but she wouldn’t listen.”

Beth tried desperately to come to terms with her son’s feelings. She began surfing the Net for more information and also phoning helplines.

“I spoke to other transsexuals and realised they were ordinary, nice people,” she says. “I discovered it was a medical condition, diagnosed from psychiatric assessment, not a lifestyle choice or perversion.

“I suddenly understood why Adam had been behaving the way he had and that having a sex change might finally make him happy.

“I spoke to my GP and he said it was a good thing that Adam had made the decision so young, as it would save him years of anguish having to live as a man.

“I’ve found the fact that I’ll never have grandchildren very hard to deal with. But I’ve learnt to accept it. If things had carried on the way they were, then my son may have committed suicide and I’d have lost him altogether.”

One day last summer, Beth came home with a surprise. She held out her hand and gave Adam a keyring with the name ‘Zoe’ on it.

“I hugged him and told him I’d support him,” she says. “I knew he was determined to go through with it. I told him I wanted to meet Zoe, to see my son dressed as a girl.”

A few days later Beth took Zoe on a shopping spree to buy skirts and tops. “When he put on the clothes I was a bit shocked,” says Beth. “But the striking thing was how his personality changed. He was like a kid in a sweet shop. I could see he was so much happier being Zoe.”

Zoe discovered help on the Internet and visited a psychologist in London. He was diagnosed as transsexual and on his very first visit in August last year he was prescribed a course of female hormones.

“It can help to have the operation earlier rather than later,” says Dr Russell Reid, consultant psychiatrist specialising in gender identity, who’s treating Zoe.

“One in every 10 coming to see me is now under 20. For many young people with a crisis about their gender identity it can lead to confusion and hold them back. Having the operation can help them get on with the rest of their life.”

“Since I’ve been taking the hormones my skin is softer and people tell me my figure is much more feminine,” says Zoe. “I’ve even started to develop breasts. I’m a lot calmer but I find myself getting much more emotional, especially at the end of soppy films!

“When it comes to relationships I think of myself as a bisexual female and most people I mix with are transsexuals or very open-minded, so I don’t think I’ll have many problems.”

Adam began living as Zoe 24 hours a day.

“When I told my boss, my stomach was churning,” says Zoe. “But he was really understanding. I wore I women’s clothes to work and sent an e-mail to everyone asking if they’d call me Zoe. I’m sure there was gossip but everyone has been great.”

Beth knew she’d have to tell her friends. “Not one of them batted an eyelid:” says Beth. “They were just intrigued.”

Zoe is now saving for the private £9,000 operation which she plans to have next year. The surgery, which takes four hours, involves cutting the penis and inverting it to construct a vagina. Before then Zoe has to live as a woman for 12 months.

“Mum has gone from one extreme to the other,” says Zoe. “She wants me to be really girlie. But I just like to be natural and wear denim skirts, a blouse and not much make-up.”

Beth has surprised herself at her change of attitude.

“I genuinely think it’s for the best,” she says. “Zoe is a much happier person than Adam ever was. Adam had difficulties growing up and was a very difficult child. Zoe is much more happy-go-lucky. There was a period when I felt like I was in mourning for the son I’d lost. A little bit of my heart still misses him. But now I think of it as losing a son but gaining a daughter. And Zoe is a lovely daughter too!”

by Chris Morris
From Woman
19 February 2001, mermaids.freeuk.com/woman2.html