Japanese Lesbians: Alive- but in the Shadows

Japanese lesbians are celebrating the love of women, but in a quieter manner than their Western counterparts. In fact, it is hard to find any literature or art on lesbianism in Japan. Homosexual males fair better since there are considerable more written works on the subject. Why?

Japanese society seems to be hard on females. There is very strong evidence to suggest that a female is not considered an adult, unless she is married with at least one child. To further complicate matters, Japanese law does not acknowledge homosexuals and marriage must exist between a man and a woman. The message to young women is clear, you are not a ‘real’ woman until you are married to a man

and have ‘his’ child. The Japanese have a word for this, (ryosai kenbo) meaning “good mother, wise mother.” Females are not fully sexual beings and sex is about producing children and satisfying the man as head of the household.

Finding Words for Homosexuality

For many years, the word “doseiai,” was used for both male and female same-sex love. Then, the word “rezubian” was introduced, sometimes reduced to “rezu.” There is an

English equivalent for dyke “daiku” but it often holds negative connotations.

Like most pornography, Japanese porn contains ‘movie lesbians.’ Like in Western society (and elsewhere) they are exaggerated and unrealistic women, formed in the image and likeness of males. Many lesbians refuse to use the word “rezubian” as it gets such a negative and “unnatural” imagine. “Porn rezubians” are viewed as sex crazed, emotionally unbalanced, and crossing and encouraging others to step over the boundaries of “normal sex.” The message is clear, they are Inferior to the “good wife and wise mother” ideal.

Females in the Workplace

In the majority of cases, the workplace mirrors the traditional family.

Most males hold the top jobs, while females are subordinate.

It is estimated that 90% of women in Japan will marry. A ‘hidden’ lesbian is presumed to be a single, heterosexual woman, who will eventually marry. Married women are often forced to leave a company. Public

Housing is geared towards married couples. Marriage secures privileges and rights in society.

Lesbian Activism:

Only one group, “Regumi,” doseiai,” was used for both male and female same-sex love. is openly known, but lesbians are often afraid to be seen visiting or associating with the organization. Hundreds of years of patriarchy is hard to combat or co-exist alongside.

But, look below at the events. Lesbians are alive and thriving. To all our lesbian sisters, greetings. It would be nice to travel and meet you.

Paula, 2014, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Am I Lesbian?

Women who like women are called lesbians. We are women who find other women sexually attractive. We are women who feel emotionally and mentally close to women. We are women who prefer women as partners (or lovers?).

As lesbians, we are not alone. One out of every 10 adolescents is a lesbian or a gay. Many famous lesbians can be found in the historical scene. Lesbians can be doctors, teachers, lawyers, factory workers, police officers, politicians, ministers, movie stars, artists, mothers, nurses, truck drivers, models, writers. You name it…

Lesbians can be white, black, Asian, Latin, South American, Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist. Lesbians can be rich, poor, working class, or middle class. Some lesbians live in heterosexual marriages. Some lesbians are disabled. Lesbians can be young women and older women. You name it, we will be.

Lots of lesbians live in cities and in the countryside. We are everywhere.

How can i know if ı’m lesbian?

“When I was little, I dreamed of living with my best girlfriend when I grew up, and this feeling remained unchanged as I got older.” – Tuğba, 21

“When I was very young, we would fall in love with other girls, but then we were expected to get out of this process. We had to read books telling the stories of girls meeting boys and boys meeting girls. Honestly, I could never read those books to the end.”

During adolescence, most young girls become aware of their sexual feelings and become interested in the idea of “dating.” Many find men attractive, but many young girls are also attracted to their fellows.

You may realize that you like your fellows. You may feel that you are different from your girlfriends, sometimes not at all numb. You may find yourself slaughtering girls, while your girlfriends are cutting guys. You may not be interested in dating guys. ”Why aren’t there any guys like that wonderful woman I’m seeing?” You can ask yourself.

In addition to all this, you may be confused or doubtful about whether you are a lesbian or not. The vast majority of adults will tell us that it is too early for us to call ourselves gay, that we are going through an era, or that we do not know what we are talking about.

You may be confused because you find both men and women attractive. This is not a problem. Some women may have sex with both men and women throughout their lives. Some may choose to be completely lesbian or heterosexual afterwards. (“Prefer” is a suitable sexual orientation. seemed to me not the definition.)

Sexuality develops over time, so don’t worry if you’re unsure of your sexual identity.

Am i normal?

“We are told that homosexuality is sickly, perverted, sinful or abnormal. But those who say this are the same people who claim that the place of women is the kitchen and that the disabled are useless. Who has the right to say what is normal? For some, eating raw fish is normal, for others. It can be disgusting and abnormal. ”- Tülin, 19

“It is very courageous that we become aware of the homosexual orientation within us and reach the desire to change our living conditions accordingly.” Natalie, 23

Yes, you are normal. It is entirely natural for a person to be attracted to their fellows, but this is not something supported by our society; many people suppress these feelings due to prejudices against gay and lesbian.

Most scientists agree that the foundations of sexual orientation were laid at a very young age, sometimes even at birth.

Whether you are gay or straight, it is normal and healthy to be yourself, and learning to love ourselves is what matters.

How does it feel to be young and lesbian?

“I feel very strong, special, independent and brave” -Natalie, age 23.

“It’s a scary feeling at times. There were times when I wasn’t sure of myself, but other than that, I felt great and proud.” – Tülin, age 19.

There is no such thing as certain rules, right or wrong of being a lesbian. Because of the stereotypical lesbians that society has imposed on us since childhood, you may think that if you are a lesbian, you must have certain characteristics. but Lesbians are women of any level of education, any appearance or profession.

Your sexual orientation is only part of your personality, and you likely have hobbies and interests that are the same as your straight friends.

Some people cannot accept lesbians and gays because of homophobic and prejudiced thoughts. Lesbians and gays suffer from discrimination and violence, which is why there is a gay and lesbian organizations fighting for gay rights.

“From the moment I accepted myself and my sexuality, I realized that I started to be more interested in life and to have more warm relations with my friends because I was much more at peace with myself” -Tuğba, age 21

“I often felt depressed and sad because of the homophobia I was constantly confronted with, but then I realized that I have the power to educate people of my generation.” – Müge, age 20.

How will we learn to love ourselves?

“It is very important that we do not deny our feelings. We may be surprised at how happy we can be if we can truly be the kind of person who comes from within. And we have to reflect on our positive aspects, being a lesbian is a very positive thing. ”- Rabia, age 24

“It helps when I interact with people who make me feel good and happy. And I’m trying to do things that make me feel good. ”- Serap, age 19

Every person has the right to be satisfied with himself/herself. We are all valuable people. Developing self-confidence is very important for young people. It is difficult for lesbian and gay youth to feel good about themselves when there are people around us who think we are doomed to lead sick, perverted, or very unhappy lives.

If we feel obliged to hide who we really are, we may want to harm ourselves through alcohol, drugs and suicide. Especially if we don’t have anyone to talk to about the fact that we are lesbians, we can feel quite excluded, fearful and depressed.

Above all, we learn to love our identity as young lesbians. It helps to read good books about lesbians – books about lesbians with complete and accurate information and leading very fulfilling lives. It also helps to meet other lesbians because this way we understand that lesbians are at least as diverse as any other human group and society tells us a lot of lies.

“I’m a lesbian and I’m fine.” It may be helpful to say this to yourself every day. And to talk, try to find someone who thinks lesbians are okay. Remember; Being a lesbian is normal and natural, just as it is normal and natural for some to be heterosexual.

Who should i tell?

“Until you feel comfortable about it, you should not feel pressured to tell others that you are a lesbian. Be prepared for different reactions of people. ” -Tuğba, age 21.

“You just have to tell someone if you think you have enough strength to face the things that can happen. Try to open up to others when you think you cannot cope with these emotions on your own any longer. If you think your family may go crazy, tell someone who can be more objective.” – Sabriye, age 19.

“When I told a few of my friends that I was a lesbian, I told them that I was no different than 5 minutes ago, but now I am not keeping a big secret from them.” – Tülin, age 19.

Coming out is the process of accepting yourself as a lesbian and understanding how open you want to be about your sexual orientation.

Unfortunately, not everyone you know might think being a lesbian is the greatest thing since sliced bread rolls, it’s hard to know who can support you and handle it. Some of your friends will accept you, others may move away from you or tell other people without your permission. It can be very difficult to open up to the family.

But some lesbian and gay youth were expelled from their homes when their families learned of their orientation.

Having someone you can talk to is important because it is neither normal nor healthy to have to keep such an important part of your life a secret. The web addresses of gay organizations and societies that you can trust, get help or consult on are available in the “links” section of our site.

How can i meet other lesbian people?

“There are many lesbians around you, but you don’t know they are lesbians just as they don’t know you are lesbians. Do not lose hope. You will meet someone after all. ”- Serap, age 19

Local feminists, lesbian rganizations, dating apps. (You can find internet addresses of these organizations in the links section of our site) Moreover.

Search gay / lesbian or feminist publications in your area.

Lesbian Police Office Stalked Ex-girlfriend

A Scottish police officer has faced court after assaulting her former lover upon discovering she was having an affair.

The police officer, Heather Atkinson is alleged to have terrorised her ex-partner Laura Jenkins after learning she had started seeing a mutual friend.

Atkinson was not only alleged to have assaulted Jenkins but also to have followed her and her new girlfriend in a dangerous high speed car chase through the pair’s home town of Greenock Inverclyde in Scotland.

Atkinson also outed her girlfriend to her mother.

Appearing in court last week, Atkinson denied all charges and was released by the Sheriff on a good behaviour bond and ordered to reappear before court in March 2014.

Lesbian Parents Forced to Accept Rights of Donor

A lesbian couple faced court in France this week after their sperm donor sought parental rights of their child.

The donor, a friend of the couple, had initially agreed to donate sperm and waive his parental rights to the child. The lesbian couple had exclusive custody of their two-year-old offspring until this week when a French court ruled in favour of the donor.

The judge’s decision means the father will be granted visitation rights, before eventually moving to a shared custody agreement where the child will spend every other weekend with the father.

The lawyer for the child’s biological mother, said her clients were upset by the ruling.

“A man did my client and her partner a favour. However he then changed his mind and wanted to take on the role of father. But the initial parental project was between two women,” the lawyer said.

The father’s lawyer said his client’s desire to have his parental rights recognised was nothing out of the ordinary.

“The demand to have his rights recognized is completely normal, the only distinction we have a homosexual couple who refused to acknowledge the presence of the father,” the lawyer said.

Michelle Hardwick Comes Out as Lesbian

A popular UK soapie star, Michelle Hardwick, has come out in an interview with The Mirror as a lesbian.

The actress best known for her role as Vanessa Woodfield on UKTV soap Emmerdale spoke for the first time about her relationship with her partner Rosie Nicholl.

The 36 year old actor said that she and her girlfriend met about 18 months ago and were friends for some time before becoming a couple. She said she couldn’t be happier with the status of her personal life.

“Life is good – and my life with Rosie is a big part of that, it really is bliss. I’ve not spoken about it sooner because it never seemed like the right time.

“When I was in The Royal, the majority of our audience were older and I would have been nervous of revealing too much. But since joining Emmerdale I’ve been getting asked about my personal life and when people want to know ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ it’s tricky.

“I don’t want to hide anything,” she told The Mirror. “I’ve never actually been able to talk about ‘my girlfriend’ or ‘partner’ – this person that means everything to me, and it feels good to be able to finally do it.”

She went on to say:”I do tweet, so people can see me and Rosie on there but they probably think we’re mates who share a house. People say, ‘I’d never have guessed you were gay’ because they expect you to look a certain way and I don’t fit their stereotype.”

Hardwick admits that as teenager she struggled with her sexuality and was initially concerned how her family and friends would take the news that she was a lesbian. She delayed coming out to her family until she was 29.

“The only thing my family were upset about is I hadn’t felt I could come out sooner… As a teenager, it was hard as I had to keep things secret and it shouldn’t be that way. Hopefully things are different now.”

Lesbian Model Jessica Clark in Playboy

Just Some Facts:Unknown

Jessica Clark is one stunning beauty stretching to about 5 ft. 11 inches. She has been featured in many fashion magazines. Perhaps, her beauty comes from the combination of genes; she comes from that come from English, Irish, Indian, and Nigerian descent.

On April 21, 1985, she was born in the United Kingdom and finished her education at the London School of Economics and Political Science.

Jessica and Lacey Stone fell in love and married in 2010. The model and the beautiful work-out instructor were a ‘dream couple.’ The marriage lasted two years and I am sure these were great years of love and growth.

Movies: Television and Playboy

Jessica Clark, who plays tempestuous deity Lilith on HBO’s True Blood, has won her acclaim. In June 2013, Playboy asked her to pose (clothes on) and she did. Below is the picture in Playboy where Jessica is sprawled across a bed, upside down in a a sexy white tank and hot pink leggings,.

Lesbian Model Jessica Clark in Playboy-June, 2013

Paula, 2013, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Who Were the First Lesbians to be Legally Married?

There names are Helene Faasen and Anne-Marie Thus, and their civil wedding was approved by the law of the Netherlands on April 1st, 2001. Holland was the first country to approve same sex marriage.

First Great Step for Lesbians

”We married for love, not politics. But of course we were aware it was an historic moment” said Anne-Marie

Her wife, notary Helene Faasen, added, ”By tying the knot in front of the world’s press, we wanted to make other people think about how horrible it is to be denied something that is a natural right for others. A heterosexual person never needs to think about whether he is allowed to marry or not, he simply needs to be lucky enough to find the love of his life.”

The Dutch couple shared their vows with three pairs of grooms. Since then, over 15,000 gay and lesbian couples have wed in the Netherlands – about 2 per cent of the total number of marriages registered between 2001 and 2010, based on figures from the Central Statistics Bureau.

According to the Amsterdam-based COC, the world’s oldest homosexual advocacy group, there are about a million gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the Netherlands out of a total population of 16.7 million.

Anne-Marie and Helene live with their two children, 10-year-old Nathan, and Myrthle, 9, in Maastricht in south Netherlands, where Anne-Marie says she loves to spend her free time cooking and Helene relaxes by tending the garden.

Their children were born from Anne-Marie and anonymous sperm donors.

“Like many other people, we have a family, work, a house, a dog and two rabbits,” said Anne-Marie, who met “the love of my life” on a blind date in 1998.

The Labrys: Claiming our Lesbian Heritage

Women, and lesbians in particular, have a long and fond association with the labrys or double-headed axe. In a world where male history dominates female herstory, we need to go back to learn about our past.

The labrys was both a symbol of Goddess culture, fertility and used as a tool in agriculture. It was celebrated in Greek culture and later by the Amazonian women in battle. When mounted between cattle horns, the labrys was the holiest of Goddess symbols. What is so special about the labrys is that it was only used by women. It came in all sizes being worn as jewelry or being carved as nine feet tall symbols of religion which stood at the end of altars.

When usually view the labrys as an upright axe with blades coming out of the handle to the left and right, that is in an upright position. However, it was also viewed on its side with an hourglass figure that was associated with the female body. When viewed this way, it was honored as the Goddess or Mother Earth figure. It symbolized the female labia at the entrance of the womb. In either position it also came to symbolize the womb and a butterfly that symbolized rebirth. Rebirth was seen around these ancient women in the death and regeneration of trees and crops. The two heads reminded the women of the waxing and waning of the moon and their monthly menstruation. All connected to the birth of new crops and the birth of human life.

Lesbians are drawn to a woman society. In relationships they give birth to love and purposeful living. Many lesbians are mothers to offsprings and mothers to their partners and those with whom they come in contact with. It is a mothering that is creative and empowering of individuals and collectively as a female society. It is a powerful totem against negative people, hatred and indifference.

For many of us, the axe symbolically cuts through prejudice of every kind. In our hands the axe is a powerful weapon of self-love, community service and world-wide celebration of women who love women. We cannot let our labrys rust! Whenever and wherever we can, we must use it to bring justice to our lesbian sisters (and women in general) in homophobic and misogynist society. Our fight is ongoing and a worthy one.

2013, Paula @ stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

First Buddhist Lesbian Wedding

The location:

Two hundred and fifty guest gathered at the Hongshi Buddhist Seminary outside Taipei, Taiwan. Preparing to meet them were two 30-year old lesbians excited about a marriage that would make headlines world-wide.

The Brides:

Huang Meiyu and You Yating gathered their prayer beads which would be exchanged instead of rings. They walked out into a Taiwan sky filled with sunshine, and a small part of the earth filled with smiles and cheers. In less than an hour, this wedding would mark the first Buddhist blessed same-sex marriage in Taiwan or in Asia for that matter. It was August 11, 2012.

Some Reasons for Marriage

Huang told reporters that neither bride felt the need to legitimize their relationship over the seven years they had spent together.

A movie, “If These Walls Could Talk2,” made the couple re-evaluate their thinking. One of the characters in this move was unable to stay with her dying partner because she was “in the closet,” and there were no laws to protect either lesbian character.

Huang and You felt compelled to marry in order to bring them full and equal marital rights. They also wanted these rights extended to all homosexuals.

Could They Have a Buddhist Marriage?

Huang and You are committed Buddhists and have a spiritual and physical connection to Hongshi Buddhist Seminary. Both women were not sure if a Buddhist wedding ceremony could be performed for lesbians. Buddhist teachings on homosexuality are less defined that the Leviticus teachings of the Jewish Torah or Old Testament.

Some Buddhists ban gay sex based on precept against “inappropriate sexual behaviour.” In countries such as Japan, China and Mongolia, there has been a tradition that celebrated homosexuality and even encouraged it. The women, therefore, approached their teacher, Zhao Hui. Huang told reporters that Zhao Hui was delighted and invited the couple to have the ceremony at the seminary. Now, the couple could happily exchange their marriage vows in front of the monks, nuns, classmates and friends. Zhao Hui is constantly praised for letting her students come to their own moral conclusions.

In the case of a lesbian Buddhist wedding, Zhao Hui expressed to the happy couple that she did not see anything special or different about this relationship. The women were partners and committed to love.

The Buddhist Ceremony

As the couple exchanged prayer beads and vowed to a life-time of commitment, monks, nuns and friends chanted sutras to seek blessings for the couple. Officiating at the wedding was another Buddhist master, Shi Chao-hwei. She witnessed Huang Meiyu and You Yating exchange prayer beads and vows.

The Media

Shi Chao-hwei was asked questions on the first Buddhist same-sex marriage. She responded, “We are witnessing history. The two women ae willing to stand out and fight for their fate…to overcome social discrimination.” Shi Chao-hwei also pointed out that while Buddhism does not engage in ideological struggles, she played down criticisms that homosexuality is a sin, saying, “all lives are equal in the religion.” The families of the couple stayed away from the media, but several reports state that they love and approve of this commitment.

The Future

Pride Week in Taipei, draws over 60,000 homosexuals. The theme of the 2012 parade was for marriage equality. According to several polls carried out recently, many Taiwanese support same-sex marriage. Several bills have been presented to the Taiwanese government (as early as 2003), but with public opinion shifting in favour of equality of marriage, Taiwan is likely to be the first Asian country to approve it.

Our Love to the Newly Weds.

Belated greetings to Huang Meiyu and You Yating. Thank you for taking the bold steps for your fellow brothers and sisters. To all LGBT Taiwanese we wish you peace and happiness and the hope, that if you are longing to hear wedding bells, they will ring very soon. Whether you exchange prayer beads or rings, may your weddings be lasting moments of loving commitment.

Paula, 2012, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville West

It was over dinner with a mutual acquaintance in December 1922 that Vita met Virginia Woolf and the affair of nineteen years started.

Vita Known as an Aristocratic Woman

Vita may have been better known in English society as the aristocratic writer and gardener, but Virginia was the superior writer. Virginia was published through her husband’s publishing firm, Hogarth and was considered the better writer.

Three years after meeting Vita Sackville West, Virginia published Mrs. Dalloway (1925) and the following: To the Lighthouse (1927) and Orlando (1928) which put Vita as the hero-ine. In 1929 she wrote an essay A Room of One’s Own with its famous dictum, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

Virginia Impressed by Vita in Love, but Not in Literature

Virginia was intrigued by Vita’s “full-breastedness” but considered her lover to be a second-rate writer.

Vita and Her Homosexual Husband:

Vita Sackville and her husband, Harold, were open about their bi-sexual nature. She wrote to Harold, ‘I simply adore Virginia Woolf, and so would you,” and again, ‘I’ve rarely taken such a fancy to anyone . . . I have quite lost my heart.’

To Virginia, she wrote straightforwardly: ‘I like you a fabulous lot.’ The two women soon began exchanging flirtatious letters — a correspondence that carried on for 19 years.

Their physical intimacy was of shorter duration.

Sparks Fly

In December 1925, while Virginia was visiting Vita at Long Barn, when passion exploded. In a letter to a Vita, Virginia wrote:

‘the explosion which happened on the sofa in my room here when you behaved so disgracefully and acquired me for ever’. She also wrote about it as ‘the night you were snared, that winter, at Long Barn’.

Vita Considers Virginia’s Mental Stability.

Vita, however, was aware that a full-scale sexual awakening might put her new lover’s fragile mental stability at risk. The following year, Vita told her husband,Harold : ‘I have gone to bed with her (twice), but that’s all . . . I am scared to death of arousing physical feelings, because of the madness.’

Harold praised her restraint: ‘It’s not merely playing with fire; it’s playing with gelignite,’ he said.

Virginia Puts Vita into Literature

Virginia’s acclaimed novel Orlando, which features a hero who keeps changing sex, was clearly based on her Vita — indeed, Vita’s son Nigel later described it as an extended love letter to his mother. It was also Virginia’s way of possessing at least a part of her sexually fascinating friend, if only on paper.

Love Cannot Save Virginia

People have speculated that Virginia was a manic-depressive On March 28, 1941, she filled her overcoat pockets with stones. She walked into the River Ouse and drowned herself.

Paula, 2015, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Lesbians More Likely To Orgasm, Study Finds

Does one sexual identity have a greater likelihood of sexual pleasure then another? A study by the Kinsey Institute for research of sex and gender at Indiana University Bloomington has found that lesbians are the most likely of any group to experience orgasms.

The study entitled “Variation in Orgasm Occurrence by Sexual Orientation in a Sample of U.S. Singles” surveyed 6,151 single and sexually active men and women, from ages 21 to 65. The researchers found that lesbian women had the highest frequency of orgasms at 75% of sexual experiences resulting in orgasm. The lowest likelihood of orgasm was found in bisexual women at 58%.

The correlation between rate of orgasm and sexual identity was not demonstrated in men. However, men orgasm 85% of the time regardless of sexual orientation or identity, whereas adjusting for sexual orientation, women orgasm only 62% of the time.

The institute’s founder Alfred Kinsey, pioneered research in sexual pleasure as a scientific pursuit, and noted as early as the 1950s, a correlations between sexual orientation and orgasm, however this is the first attempt to codify Kinsey’s theories.

Scientists next hope to find whether a mental or physical differentiation is responsible for the variations in likelihood of orgasm. Very little is known outside of a purely physiological level—the increase of heart rate and changes in blood pressure. The mental and emotional aspects of stimulation remains something of a mystery to researchers.

Dr. M. Mirza, 2015
lgbt health wellness .com

Lesbian Quotes

Lesbian Activism:

“We are always in a political movement, but not always in a political movement phase of a political culture” (Sarah Hoagland, 1996).

Lesbianism as resistance:

“For a woman to be a lesbian in a male-supremacist, capitalist, misogynist, racist, homophobic, imperialist culture, such as that of North America, is an act of resistance” (Cheryl Clarke, 1981)

Lesbian Chic:

“The recent flurry of articles on hip lesbians…isn’t about documentation…it’s about creation: building a better lesbian, one palatable enough for mainstream consumption…to gain legitimacy and be taken seriously in the 1990s, cultures outside the mainstream must prove they are free of the disruptive nature and threatening intent of activisms past…” (Judith Schwartz, quoted in Cragin, 1997)

Lesbian Feminism:

“Lesbian feminism proceeds from an analysis of gender interests which situates lesbians primarily as women rather than homosexuals, thus distinguishing it from gay theory which proceeds from an analysis of sexual identity and interests (a difference noted by Eve Sedwick). [Lesbian feminism] also bases itself in the primacy of identity, distinguishing it further from queer theory which lays primary emphasis on actions and performance.” (Bonnie Zimmerman, 1996).

Lesbian Feminists

“Lesbians of the 70s, can be divided into lesbian feminists and feminist lesbians. The former usually ‘came out’ after being exposed to feminism and had a history of heterosexuality. The latter were usually lifelong or long-time lesbians with little or no heterosexual history, who integrated feminism into their identity. These differing paths to lesbianism were an important factor behind the ideological contests and the lesbian civil wars of the 70s” (Y. Retter, 1998).

“Lesbian feminists are the bad girls who fail to love the male frame of mind that currently dominates gay and lesbian studies” (Sheila Jeffreys, 1994).

Lesbian History

“As a woman, as a lesbian, as a Jew, much of what I call history, others will not. But answering that challenge of exclusion is the work of a lifetime” (Joan Nestle, 1987).

“Lesbian history is under-researched and undertheorized” (Martha Vicinus, 1994).

Lesbian Invisibility:

“Between the time of Sappho and the birth of Natalie Clifford Barney (between ca 613 bc and 1876 ad) lies a ‘lesbian silence’ of twenty-four centuries” (Bertha Harris In Our Right To Love, 1978).

“Without a visual identity, we have no community, no support network, no movement. Making ourselves visible is a political act, making ourselves visible is a continual process.” (Joan E. Biren in Visual Communication, 1983).

Lesbian Persistence:

“Lesbian supression is so strong that if it weren’t inherent in some, it would have dissappeared [!]” (Marilyn Frye, 1996).

Lesbian separatism:

“Separatism is an exhausting act of faith and because of insistent pressure on [one] to repent, it requires almost daily reaffirmation” (Janet Dixon in Hemmings and Cant, 1988).

Lesbian intensity:

” One year as a lesbian is like three years in the het world” (Leslie Rand, recovering heterosexual, 1996).

Cultural Feminism/Lesbianism:

“Cultural feminism represents a retreat from the difficulties of political struggle into the self-validation that community-building offers. It further substitutes the fantasy of a united sisterhood for political theory” (Alice Echols, quoted in Howard, 1997).

Queer Theory and Politics:

“The wholesale embracing of theatrical metaphor [in queer theory] denies the historicity of all lesbian roles, and their specific meanings at different historical times” (Martha Vicinus, 1994)

Related Thoughts

Intersections of Oppression:

“The concept of the simultaneity of oppression is still the crux of a Black feminist understanding of political reality…and is one of the most significant ideological contributions of Black feminist thought” (Barbara Smith, 1983, xxxii).

“The modifier ‘multiple’ refers not only to several, simultaneous oppressions, but to the multiplicative relationships among them as well” (Deborah King, 1988).

About Lesbians:

“In Anglo-Saxon Countries it seems…that female homosexuality means rather more than Sapphic lyricism, since it somehow acts as a stimulus to the social and political organization of women…” (Carl Jung in Civilization in Transition, 1922).

By Lesbians About Women:

“As a writer, I am not defferential. Writing without apology and without trivializing the writing because one is a woman is a major contribution” (Andrea Dworkin, in Jenefsky, Without Apology, 1998)

About Resistant Women:

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat…” (Rebecca West)

We welcome additions. Please cite source.

Questions That Insult Queer Women

There are some questions you’re better off knowing will likely be annoying to queer women.

Who’s the man in your relationship?
Who is the man in your relationship? Lesbian relationships involve two women and this question assumes that one of the women is acting as a man. Even if the relationship involves a more feminine woman and a butch woman, this doesn’t mean that one of them is roleplaying as a man. It’s rude to assume so.

How do you have sex?
Is this a question you would ask anybody? Why would you think that it’s appropriate to ask a lesbian or bisexual woman? And, there’s more than one way to go about having sex no matter your sexual orientation. Are you really expecting anybody you choose to provide the details of their sexual activities?

If you’ve never had sex with a man how do you know you’re a lesbian?
Answer this question yourself by asking: how do I know my sexuality if I haven’t engaged in sex with someone of the same sex?

Are you up for a threesome?
Many queer women are affected by this question– especially bisexual women. Just as many, if not more, queer women choose to be in a monogamous relationship and have no interest whatsoever in inviting anybody else to join.

You must not be bisexual anymore since you married a man
Just because a bisexual woman enters into a monogamous relationship with a man doesn’t mean that she has lost her sexuality. Although she may not continue to have sex with women, it’s very possible she’s still going to be attracted to women. The fact that she doesn’t act on it doesn’t make it less so.

You just haven’t found the right man
This assumes that queer women exist just because they’ve had unpleasant experiences with men. While it may be the case that some of them have had bad relationships with men, the same would apply to heterosexual women. Does this mean that they are going to become lesbians suddenly? No.

Life would be so much easier if I were a lesbian
Really? Probably not, especially due to the hate crimes, higher suicide rates, harassment, workplace discrimination, stigma, possible isolation from your family, and the list goes on. This is an insensitive comment to make to a queer woman. Do you really think life would be easier? Choose sensitivity; think before you speak.

What does Lesbian mean?

Lesbian is the term most commonly used to describe sexual and romantic attraction among women. This word can be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are considered by others as a primary attribute of female homosexuality or an adjective, to describe the characteristics of an object or activity related to female homosexuality.

The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos and is therefore considered in some cases to be a Eurocentric category that does not necessarily represent the identities of African-Americans and other non-European ethnic groups. With that being said, individually identified individuals from various ethnic groups, including African-Americans, take the term “lesbian” as an identity tag.

For lesbians, the definition of gay women is also used.

Lesbian Flag

While it is difficult to come across lesbian pride flags in pride marches, it is a widely used flag online.

The Lesbian Flag represents L in the LGBTI+ community and comes into existence in many shades of pink.

But many of the lesbian communities prefer other symbols to represent themselves, such as the Venus symbol or the rainbow flag.

You can also see the Lesbian Pride flag in versions that are often combined with other flags, with kisses, lipstick, and Venus symbols.

A lesbian community flag with alternatives available as well.

Lesbian Relationships

Unlike a heterosexual relationship, a lesbian relationship provides more freedom than restrictions. However, eventually every lesbian relationship suffers from one common drawback: the fear of society in which one has to survive. All relationships are based on love, understanding and expectations. The same holds true for lesbian relationships. A difference of opinion occurs on grounds of whether or not the lesbian identity should be concealed from the society. Insecurity builds up if one of the partners opts to conceal the relationship from the society. Even if a lesbian couple overcomes the homophobia factor, there are other relevant issues regarding the social background, attitudes and most importantly the age difference between both the partners. In order to make any relationship a success, both the individuals need to provide enough space to each other. This might create a problem if one of the partners is dominating in nature. The other partner might feel rejected due to such demanding tendencies. It therefore becomes obvious that both the partners need to get fine tuned with each other’s behavioral patterns.

There is a common saying that “no two fingers are alike”. Unnecessary differences can lead to depression and unwanted conflicts. In case a conflict does arise, the best possible solution is to talk about it and resolve the issue there and then. To assume that time would become a healing factor can lead to inevitable break up of the relationship. One of the partners might not have an understanding nature. In such a case, it becomes the sole responsibility of the other partner to revive the existing relationship and give a new meaning to it. One must not forget that there are numerous social elements that make a lesbian relationship a hard ship to sail. If both the partners feel that there is a need of involving a mutually trusted friend to resolve the conflict, they should go ahead and do so. Usually a third person can judge better which one of the two partners is more demanding and dominating.

At the end, what needs to be remembered is that it’s always better to forgive and forget the mistakes of the one you love. Yes, this is tough, but good things don’t come that easily. The need to avoid a break up increases manifolds if the relationship is known in the society. It becomes the moral responsibility of both the partners to become strength of each other, rather than becoming a weakness. The amount of love, caring and understanding is required more in case of a lesbian relationship as compared to any heterosexual relationship.

Are You Lesbian or Bisexual?

Sexuality is full of labels, the most prominent being straight or gay. As a society we love to live in boxes or to be labeled so that we feel part of some kind of group; it helps us to become comfortable with our way of life. At some point in your existence you will find yourself thinking, “Oh I like women, therefore I must be a lesbian” or “Oh no, I like men, therefore I am heterosexual”. This is called determining your sexuality.

But what happens if you have a burning sexual attraction for both men and women?

Is this just a phase you are going through, or do you fit into the box labeled bisexual?

Being bisexual basically means that you are attracted to, and would engage in sexual activity with, both male and female partners. Bisexuals are probably the most misunderstood people in society. Lesbians and gays find it just as hard to accept as straight people that there are human beings that exist on this earth that are sexually attracted to both men and women. Bisexuals often get taunted for being the lazy sexuality, people that can’t make up their minds, or people that just won’t commit. In reality, bisexual people are those of us that can fall in love with a man, or a woman, and couldn’t care less what sex they are and what type of genitals they have. They recognize the inner being rather than the outer core.

Lesbian Or Bisexual?

We all go through a period of discovering our sexual identity. This can be during puberty, or it can take place much later on in life – especially if someone has kept their true sexuality under wraps for decades because they were afraid of rejection. It can be incredibly hard to come to terms with the fact that you are sexually attracted to women, but people who are confused about their sexuality struggle even more when they can’t determine whether they like men or women more.

If you find that you can relate to this dilemma then it sounds like you are trying to determine whether you are a lesbian or a bisexual. Before anything else, start by answering the five questions below with a simple YES or NO answer.

1. Do you find both men and women attractive?
2. Is it the person rather than the gender that attracts you to people?
3. Can you be sexually aroused by both men and women?
4. Do you find yourself fantasizing about sex with both men and women?
5. Do you enjoy sex with both men and women (if you have had sex with both sexes)?

If your answer to all of these questions is yes, then you could be bisexual; ‘could’ being the operative word in this sentence. The truth is that there is no steadfast rule, or description, that you can match yourself against to say whether you are leaning towards lesbianism or bisexuality. The answer lies in the test of time. You just have to go with the flow, allow yourself to gain sexual experience, and decide for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be labeled straight, or gay, by society just because that’s the way most people like to live. If, at this present moment in time, you want to have sex with both men and women then you should allow yourself to do so.

Then, in time, you will be able to decide for yourself whether bisexuality is your true path, or you were actually a lesbian all along but you were frightened to let go of the apron strings of heterosexuality. At the end of the day the label doesn’t matter; it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual; they are all just words that put groups of people in boxes. Maybe bisexuals break the mould, but if you love men and women then who are we to argue!

Lesbian Literature: Sub-Saharan Africa

Many Sub-Sahara African novels/ebooks depict homosexuality negatively and as a product of the West.

There are some incredible pro-gay novels.

An example is No Past, No Present, No Future (1973) by Yulisa Amadu Maddy. This novel follows the lives of three African men who migrate to Europe. One of the characters, Joe Bengoh, is homosexual and the novel not only traces his earliest experiences with a mission priest, but also explores his two friends prejudice towards him – they view homosexuality as sick and morally inferior and so reject him. In the end, however, Joe is the only one of the three whose acknowledgment of his true self does not destroy him. Another of Maddy’s novels, Our Sister Killjoy, openly discusses being lesbian.

After the end of apartheid, and the growth of LGBT rights, there was a growth of LGBT South African literature. These include Mark Behr’s Embrace (2000), Ian Murray’s For the Wings of a Dove (2000), Michiel Heyns’s The Children’s Day (2002), Barry Levy’s Burning Bright (2004) and Craig Higginson’s The Hill (2005), which all deal with boys’ developing sexuality.

Women have made a smaller contribution to LGBT literature in South Africa compared with their male counterparts.

One LGBT-themed book is Open: An Erotic Anthology by South African Women Writers (Schimke 2008), which contains a significant number of stories about being lesbian or bisexual. Other female writers who have LGBT themes in their wok include Suzy Bell, Makhosazana Xaba, Liesl Jobson, Sarah Lotz and Lauren Beukes.

Unfortunately, few works published so far examine homosexuality from a black woman’s perspective, although Jane Bennett’s collection of short stories, Porcupine (2008) includes a representation of being black and a lesbian.

Go Tell it to the Sun by Wame Molefhe has a short story “Sethuya Likes Girls Better”, depicting a married woman forced to suppress her sexuality to conform to societal pressures; while Black Bull, Ancestors and Me is a memoir of sangoma, a traditional healer and lesbian.

paula key has a comment.

I am still in the process of making my ebook stories universal. Jo of the Outback, I set in Australia and it explores the love of a white woman and aboriginal woman. (interracial).

Lt. Dee: Army Nurse, Vietnam. Explores a fictitious love in a war zone. Lieutenant Dee is from a white Mennonite family and she falls in love with an American Native Indian woman. (interracial).

Jazz: Jet Setting Carpenter. This ebook is set in London, England. She is a daughter of an Indian father and mother. Her partners are from various nationalities as she treats the city of London as her bedroom.

My intention is to set one of my next novels in Africa. I would like both women to be African. If you have any stories or it is your African lesbian story – please contact me through the comments section. I would love to invite you to be a guest writer. paula.

If you live in Africa – my ebooks are available on Amazon.com.

Paula, 2015, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Lesbian Life In Morocco: Lonely and Fearful

“To live happily, live hidden.” This tends to be the slogan of the LGBTI community in Morocco. This is oneof the most liberal Muslim countries, but under the law, committing unnatural acts with the same sex is punishable. The prison terms can range from 6 months to 3 years. Todate, no lesbian has been imprisoned. Algeria and Tunisia have similar bans.

Affection in Public, but No Relationship

Affection between women is common. Girls link arms and stroll hand-in-hand. They even sit and cuddle. However, a lesbian relationship has to be secret or carried out in another country. Some lesbians are fortunate to study abroad. For straight and lesbian women marriage or escape overseas tends to be the most common way to leave the family home. Like in parts of China, the LGBTI community often has ‘arranged’ marriages.

Lonely and Fearful

The internet allows lesbians to reach gay forums world-wide; one of which is LGBT Maroc. Some of the comments and questions are sad such as “How do I become heterosexual?” There is also another internet site/forum called Lesbiennes du Maroc.

Perhaps more significantly, the government unofficially tolerates Kif-Kif, the only organization advocating for LGBT rights in Morocco. Kif-Kif’s main office sits across the border in Madrid, and its visibility is limited to low-profile conferences and Mithly, a new publication, distributed quietly, that features LGBT voices. Established six years ago, Kif-Kif has sought unsuccessfully to become a legal association in Morocco.

To our Moroccan Lesbian Sisters:

Be careful but do find love with another woman.

Paula, 2018, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Lesbian Hindu Wedding in UK

The marriage is believed to be the first female same-sex Hindu wedding to take place in Leicester, U.K. between Miriam Jefferson and Kalavati Mistry. It was a colourful ceremony as both wore traditional red and white Hindu wedding colours.

They also wore floral garlands and ‘mangala sutra’, which is a necklace traditionally tied around the bride’s neck to show she is now married.

Different Birth Places – One Love

Kalavati is from Leicester while Miriam is a native of Texas, U.S.A Kalavati grew up in a traditional Hindu household. She came out to her family and wanted an Hindu wedding.

Miriam met Kalvati in the year 2000 while when the English woman came to America for working purposes.

One Wedding is NOT Enough!

Miriam grew up in a Jewish household. Earlier in 2017, both women had a Jewish wedding in San Antonio, Texas. This is the home town of Miriam.

Love is the foundation of all religions, and both women have found this gift in their life together.