Biphobia is a Common Problem

Most people are familiar with the word “homophobia”.  There are many terrible, damaging myths and stereotypes out there that remind us far too much about how common it is to hate and be ignorant. There is another form of phobia that is less spoken about and it’s fairly safe to say that many have never heard of it: It’s called “biphobia” and it comes from all parts of the human sexuality spectrum.

Not everyone who is biphobic is homophobic.  There are those who believe bisexuals must be either straight or gay.  It’s an unfair judgment that’s not only invalidating, but is effectively saying that those identifying as bisexuals are dishonest people.  It causes them to be unjustly assessed–as if their supposed ‘lies’ stretch to other areas of their lives.

Examples of biphobic statements are:

  • Bisexuals are confused.
  • Bisexuals just want to have threesomes/kinky sex.
  • Bisexuality is a phase.
  • Bisexual women just want to get men “hot and bothered’.

Many bisexuals stay ‘in the closet’ due to attitudes from the LGBTI+ community and heterosexuals.  They might try to pass as either gay or straight.  Sadly, bisexuals are viewed as gay or lesbian when they’re with a same-sex partner and heterosexual when they have an opposite-sex partner.  The attitude that bisexuality doesn’t exist is a dangerous one to hold.

Bisexuality is not an undecided sexuality or a phase.  It’s not about being confused.  If anything, it’s biphobia that’s making things complicated.  Even if you’re not bisexual… When you hear someone engaging in biphobic behavior, stop them and let them know the truth.  It’s best to be calm while doing this, of course…the message will be received more openly and taken more seriously that way.

If a loved one comes out to you, treat it seriously and with compassion.  Don’t treat them as if they’re suddenly all about sex or they’re just experimenting. It took a lot of courage for them to come out.  A little education and compassion goes a long way!

A Brief History of Homophobia in Russia

Stalin didn’t think much of gay rights.

Dan Healy of the Moscow Times had given us a history of homophobia in Russia.

“Orthodox clerics condemned sex between men and youths. They also condemned men who shaved, used make-up, or wore gaudy clothing as devotees of the “sodomitical sin.””

Peter the Great outlawed sex between men in his Military Code of 1716, to be punished by flogging, and male rape, by penal servitude. In 1835, motivated by reports of vice in the Empire’s boarding schools, Tsar Nicholas I formally extended the ban on male same-sex relations to wider society in a new criminal code. Men who engaged in voluntary “sodomy” (muzhelozhstvo) were exiled to Siberia; sodomy with minors or the use of force netted exile with hard labor. This law remained in force until 1917. There was no law against lesbian relations.

Tsarist Russia avoided enforcing the law against upper-class homosexuals. There was no Russian equivalent to Oscar Wilde, Colonel Alfred Redl of Hungary, or Prince Eulenberg of Germany. Many supporters of the Romanov dynasty, and members of the tsar’s family, were flagrantly gay but when the government drafted a new criminal code — never to be adopted — in 1903, it continued to criminalize male homosexuality.

When revolution came in 1917, the Provisional Government wanted to enact the 1903 criminal code, but lost power to the Bolsheviks, who abrogated all tsarist law in November 1917. Until 1922 there was no written criminal law.

Police raids had been conducted on circles of “pederasts” in Moscow and Leningrad who were accused of spying; they had also “politically demoralized various social layers of young men, including young workers, and even attempted to penetrate the army and navy.”

Stalin forwarded Yagoda’s letter to Lazar Kaganovich, noting “these scoundrels must receive exemplary punishment” and directing that a law against “pederasty” be adopted. The new law was adopted for all the Soviet republics in March 1934, with a minimum sentence of three to five years for consenting male homosexuality.

Healy continues:

“Harry Whyte, a British Communist working for the English-language Moscow Daily News wrote to Stalin in May 1934, asking him to justify the new law. He boldly explained why it violated Marxist principles. He asked Stalin, “Can a homosexual be considered a person fit to become a member of the Communist Party?” Stalin scrawled across the letter, “An idiot and a degenerate. To the archives.”

The anti-homosexual law remained in place until 1993 in Russia. Without access to FSB and presidential archives we have only a rough idea of how many men were prosecuted under it; at minimum, tens of thousands suffered.

De-Stalinization under Nikita Khrushchev actually cemented the law in place. In 1958 the Interior Ministry issued a secret decree “on the strengthening of the struggle against sodomy,” telling police to enforce the law with renewed vigor. From this date about 1,000 men were imprisoned annually in the Soviet Union for their homosexuality. Soviet authorities worried that the millions of men released from the single-sex Gulag camps were a source of “sexual perversion” dangerous to Soviet society.

Discussions during the Perestroika years seemed to point toward reform, but the Interior Ministry fought vigorously against any relaxation. In April 1993, as part of a package to bring Russian legislation in line with Council of Europe standards, the Yeltsin administration decriminalized male homosexuality, but there was no amnesty for the hundreds of men still in prison under the law at that time.

In 2002, during a Duma debate about changes to sex-crime legislation, nationalist-conservative deputies called for the re-criminalization of voluntary sodomy and for the first time in a millennium of Russian legal history, the criminalization of lesbian acts. The Kremlin ignored these calls, but the status of Russia’s lesbians and gays remains an open question. Like Harry Whyte in 1934, we might well ask, “Can a homosexual be considered a person fit to be a citizen of the Russian Federation?””

Homophobic Hate Attack in Turkey

Fırat Kaya, known as Firat Delikanli in Aydın, severely subjected the hearing impaired Engin Elekçi to violence on the grounds that he was “gay“. Fırat Delikanlı posted the images on Instagram.

Fırat Delikanlı drew great reaction with his posts on his Instagram account.

It was revealed that Fırat Delikanlı inflicted violence on a hearing-impaired woman with whom he had been before and hospitalized the woman.

He has not yet been arrested.

16:33: Fırat Kaya has been detained!

26:03.2021: A man using the name Fırat Delikanlı attacked to a gay man in Izmit on March 22,  and then shared the images of his violence on social media.

Fırat Kaya and two other suspects were arrested by the court to which they were referred for “attempting to kill a person intentionally”, “depriving the person of his liberty”, “violating the privacy of private life” and “illegally spreading personal data”.

 

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Apologizes for Sexist & Homophobic Statements

Turkish Rapper Ezhel, who is a guest of the new episode of the Justice Atlas podcast series prepared by Anadolu Kültür, apologized for the sexist expressions he used in his songs in the past years.

Ezhel, moderator Hazal Özvarış said, “If homophobia and sexism are discussed as you said in the rap community, why are we still exposed to this in rap music?” “I know that when I was young, when I was a teenager, when I was not heading, I said a lot of stupid things and I apologize to people for that. The important thing is to understand this, share it and spread awareness ”.

Emphasizing that rap music is a political music, Ezhel said, “But there are homophobia and sexist discourses in the same culture and this is discussed within the community. In this context, Ezhel apologized for the sexist lyrics he used in his songs in the past.

Homophobic Lies 101: Do The Research!

  1. People make a choice to be gay. If you know any/many GLBT people and you have listened to them, you would not entertain this statement as true. This is a pivotal statement used by anti-gay groups all the time. It is simple and it is powerful. Here is why. If being GLBT is a choice, then it is a conduct. Conduct is not protected by law. But, a class of people, a status of people, is protected by law. If these conservative groups can get us to believe that being GLBT is a choice, then they can hope to withhold civil rights from gay/trans people. Again, conduct is not protected but classes of people are protected.

This house of cards and lies are starting to tumble down however. In the Supreme Court, a ruling was released on June 28, 2010 for Christian Legal Society(CLS) at University of California, Hastings School of Law v Martinez. CLS contented that they were discriminating against a behavior, the homosexuality of a perspective member, when they denied admission to the group. We are all clear that state money and property cannot be used to discriminate against a class of people, but CLS said this was about behavior. In siding with Martinez, the Supreme Court decision called GLBT people a “class”; this is huge, huge. The Supreme Court has now designated GLBT people as a class, not a behavior, not a conduct. A group of people.

Forget all the myths and bigotry some groups will use to discriminate against GLBT people, the Supreme Court (and every recognized American medical, counseling and psychiatric group) understands that homosexuality/transgenderness is not a choice. They are a class or status of people. With that designation, equality will come.

I find it exceedingly sad that the State is leading the charge for social justice when God told His people over 2,700 years ago in the book of Isaiah to “spend” themselves on justice issues. (Isaiah 58: 6-12) The courts are now leading the way to end this inequality. It should have been Christians churches. We have been here before on the issues of equality for women and Black Americans. God help us; Your people betrayed a mandate and used Your name to validate discrimination.

  1. People become homosexual because they were sexually abused as children or had distant father/over bearing mother or some variation on bad parenting. GLBT children are no more abused or subject to poor role models than heterosexual children. In fact, fifteen to twenty five percent of all girls were sexually abused and seven to fifteen percent of all boys. Pretty sad statistic yet, there is no scientific evidence to link abuse and orientation. None. This myth has burdened parents of GLBT children with a guilt and shame that they somehow caused their children’s orientation. Shame and blame. And, a lie.
  2. Sexual orientation can be changed. Reparative therapy has been rejected by all the established and reputable American medical, psychological, psychiatric and professional counseling organizations. The overwhelming majority of people that have “changed” have: chosen to be celibate, were bisexual and not exclusively homosexual, or opt to live a “straight” life to adhere to strong religious and social pressures. ( Read my post about Sexual Orientation . ) Even the leader of the largest reparative therapy group in the world, Exodus, said just this week that he still is attracted to men. This is my personal belief, I would say, that if it were not for his paycheck, status and books, he would be more truthful. I have two close friends who were leaders/founders of Exodus and they are transparent in telling the stories of the lies and lack of integrity in the Exodus- type message.

I have personally interviewed both of them (Michael Bussee and Darlene Bogle ) and this reparative sex industry is a sham and a money machine. It does not work. I do not know one, not one person who has changed sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Not one. Have there been cases where some sexual abuse caused a skewed sexual view that was corrected? Sure. I would place that in the less than 1% realm. Go to Beyond Ex-Gay and Box Turtle Bulletin for reparative therapy stories. The leaders of ex-gay ministries will never say you can change orientation; they appear to say that, but listen. They even know it is a lie.

  1. Efforts to change someone’s sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual are not harmful nor unethical. Oh really? Being GLBT is a status, not a behavior or “lifestyle” (this word drives me batty!). Constant pressure to change the core of a person is a violation of humanity and it is an abuse. Telling someone who is same-sex attracted that they must change who they are to be acceptable to family, society, God is harmful and unethical.

Ask an alcoholic or drug addict to get clean and you will see benefit. Ask an adulterer to stop cheating and you see benefit. Go on and on down the list of “bad behaviors” and encourage folks to eliminate them and you will see life and good. Then, apply this “you must change your orientation” attitude and dictate to a GLBT person, and you will see loneliness, depression, isolation and shame. I am sure people are well intentioned in wanting others to change and live “the good life” of heterosexuality. I could not change my orientation, yet, we ask others to change theirs. For our good. For their destruction.

  1. Homosexuals experience a higher level of psychological disorders than do heterosexuals. Really? Reject anyone repeatedly and from all directions and from all societal institutions and you set them up for personal destruction. We have done an excellent job of sending out a message of less-thanism from every corner of society to the GLBT community–from churches, government, military and schools. Want to decrease the shame, depression, addictions, suicidal thoughts and loneliness imposed on GLBT people? Stop the rejection. Incredibly simplistic. Be loving, be accepting, be a safe place. Love, acceptance and security. That is all we each ask for. Try extending it and watch the “psychological disorders” melt away.
  2. Children raised by homosexuals are not as healthy as children raised by heterosexuals and, they suffer harm. First, all studies show children do better with two parents, two, not a male and female, two parents. Want to protect children? Start by not getting divorced and letting them have two, engaged, in-the-same-house parents. Next, the majority of the children that I personally know in gay male couple families are adopted children. Children that exit the foster/state/court systems into these loving homes. In lesbian couple families, many of the children are their own children and they should be with their Mom. Let Mom have a legal partner for the security of those children. Two parents. No, none, zero studies exist to state that children raised in same-sex couple families are harmed or suffer any more than we heterosexual parents all-stars effect them.

The courts asked the plaintiffs for proof of this accusation of damage to children in same-sex parenting homes in the Prop 8 case in California. This was the big opportunity to lay it out for all to see and guess what? No evidence was presented. None. You can lie all you want on TV and in sound bites, but in court, you must bring proof. No proof was offered. Want to make the home life of children healthier? Let them have two parents. Let GLBT couples marry and create families and security for their children.

I have specifically and intentionally spent time with my GLBT friends and their children to observe. As a mother of two grown children (both straight), I am impressed with what I have seen. GLBT people do not want to destroy family, they want to create it, with their kids and with the tossed away kids.

  1. Homosexuals are more likely to molest children than heterosexuals. This lie can make a person crazy because it is such an offensive lie. This repeated nonsense has damaged relationships of GLBT people within their families and extended families. “Don’t let Aunt Lesbian near the kids and surely not Uncle Gay. They will touch our kids inappropriately and use them sexually.” Molestation of children is NOT an issue of orientation. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Molestation of children is about being attracted to a child’s age, not gender of the child or the abuser. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

In a 2008 study of medical records in a Denver emergency room in cases of molestation, 1% had been attributed to GLBT people. The overwhelming majority of molestation is inflicted by heterosexual relatives and friends. This lie has to stop. FRC and the others quote and requote 87% of all cases of pedophilia involve a gay person. WHERE do they get this stuff? The one report they keep quoting with assurance has been thrown out as sloppy and false work by any expert of repute. Yet, the rhetoric they call the truth is robbing GLBT people of family, and family of their gay relatives. Destruction of family? Yes. For a lie.

  1. Homosexuals are not seriously disadvantaged by discrimination. GLBT couples are denied 1,138 rights that a married heterosexual couple enjoys under the law. They are discriminated against in the military, in families, in churches and in society. That appears to be pretty serious disadvantage to me. Imagine, 1,138 rights denied a GLBT couple that wants to commit to love and marriage and cannot. Count to 1,138 and ask yourself: is this not discrimination?
  2. Homosexuals are less likely to enter into a committed relationship, less likely to be sexually faithful to a partner, even if they have one, and are less likely to remain committed for a lifetime, than are heterosexuals. Chicken or egg? Tell people they are less-than and see what you get. Marriage is an institution in which couples establish state protected, church ordained, committed relationships. And it is denied to GLBT people. Take away marriage from heterosexual couples and imagine the results. Oh, we have that, heterosexual people living together. They don’t seem to have the success rate of marriage. Serial heterosexual monogamy.

Marriage brings protection, a stronger bond of commitment and the support of family and a community. GLBT people do not enjoy the security of legal marriage in all 50 states. They do not grow up thinking “who will I marry?”. Why bother, it is not a reality (yet). So, even when we do extend the right to marry to GLBT people, there will be a season of transition. And, in time, there will be the similar percentages of success/failure in same-sex marriages as in heterosexual marriages.

  1. GLBT people cannot be Christians. I devote an entire blogsite Canyonwalker Connections to this issue. The best starting place is the VERSES tab. If you believe this myth, you are ignoring a movement of God that is exploding around the world. GLBT Christians are growing in number, in spiritual maturity, in gifting and it is happening fast. The best way to see proof is to visit an affirming congregation. Go to welcomingchurches.org, call an affirm ing pastor in your area from the list and go see what God is doing in His GLBT children. Of course they can be Christians.

Lies are evil. Lies breed fear. Myths about people or groups become the basis for forming ideology about others. We have done it to Native Americans, immigrants over our own history, the Irish, the Germans, the Italians, the Jews, the Africans, the Mexicans, the Muslims, the Russians, the “others”. On and on. If we repeat the myth enough, maybe it will gain muddy traction and stick. This is what FRC and other Hate Groups do so well. They demonize the gay community. I think they actually believe they are good and fighting the good fight and hanging on to all that is sacred and holy. But, they are lying. That is discrimination. And, while they are doing it, they are causing destruction, that is hate. Maybe the public backlash of being designated a Hate Group will shame them to reassess their message.

Now, the final word as a Christian. I think there is something worse than making the SPLC’s Hate Groups List. My first concern would be “am I pleasing God?”. We all, all, have an image of God in us. We are called to love, respect and serve others. We are called to be shining lights in which others can see some piece of Jesus. Imagine a kicked-out-of-church gay man, a shamed-by-her-family lesbian, a suicidal Mormon teen who knows that honesty means losing family and church, two men that want desperately to get married and build a family, a young bisexual girl who cuts herself in the shame and pain of her sexuality and religious oppression. God loves every one of these people, the same way He loves me. God, in His Word, and Jesus, in His life, told me to treat everyone with equality and love. If the church cannot police our own, perhaps God is using secular organizations to slap His children upside the head? Would not be the first time. I will stand with, beside and in front of my GLBT fellow humans to ensure that they gain equality with me.

Paula, 2017, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

 

Israeli Rabbi: COVID-19 Vaccine Will Make You Gay

Rabbi Daniel Asor told his followers in a recent sermon that they should avoid being vaccinated against COVID-19 as doing so could “turn them” into homosexuals, according to Israel Hayom.

The Rabbi shared conspiracy theories with his followers, claiming that the vaccines are manufactured by a “global malicious government,” the Jerusalem Post reported.

Daniel Asor’s claimed that the “malicious government” is a mix of “secret societies,” including the Illuminati, and the Freemasons.

The secret societies seek to establish a new order in the world, he claimed.

Israeli media criticized the Rabbi, who urged his followers to not receive the vaccine at the time when other religious authorities ask people around the world to respond favorably to the vaccination campaign.

Several countries received COVID-19 vaccines, including the UK, Saudi Arabia, among other.

Rabbi Daniel Asor’s assertion goes against decrees issued by leading rabbis in Israel and around the world, who have called on ultra-Orthodox society to take every precaution against the global pandemic, including getting vaccinated.

Dealing With Homophobic Family

Dealing with homophobic people in general is difficult, but when those people are your family it hurts. Unfortunately, in most cases, you will not be able to change the views of your homophobic family members regarding your sexuality, especially if their homophobia stems from their religion.

The best you can do is to temporarily distance yourself from said homophobic family members for two reasons:

1.) You need to get away from the toxicity and stress that your family members cause you due to your sexuality, and

2.) You need to take a step back and educate yourself on why your family members are the way they are so that you can fully understand their perspectives. It could be that it isn’t necessarily you they dislike, it’s the homosexual stereotypes and stigma. For most people, homophobia stems from a lack of factual knowledge about homosexuality.

Once you’ve distanced yourself from your homophobic family members and taken a step back to understand their perspectives, then you can take the next steps in calmly confronting them on their behavior and educating them. Most conservative or religious people will not willingly seek out or accept factual information regarding sexuality, so please be sure to be mindful of this when confronting your family members on their homophobic behavior if they are conservative or religious. Understand that the homophobia will not go away in a day, a week, or in some cases, ever. Remember, the most you can do is to distance yourself, take a step back and understand their perspective, confront them and then educate them. After that, the rest is up to them.

In life family is all that we have, so while it may be okay to temporarily distance yourself from your family in pursuit of ridding your life of homophobia, remember to not distance yourself from your family forever. Sometimes it takes distancing yourself from people for them to appreciate you and for them to realize that they are missing out on having you in their lives for such a trivial and ignorant reason; a reason that neither you nor they can change.

Personal Advice