Gay Fiction Books to Read!

A small selection from stock which includes a huge range of gay fiction of all types.

Man’s World – Rupert Smith
London today: a world of sex and drugs and designer clothes, where Robert searches for fulfillment in gay clubs. London 50 years ago: Michael enters a secret queer underworld, negotiating the dangers of the law and the closet. Past and present collide when Robert moves into a new block of flats, and discovers that history is alive and kicking in his doorstep. Robert keeps a blog – a chronicle of the contemporary gay experience that would have been unthinkable 50 years ago. Michael kept a diary – a secret record of his experiences that could have landed him and his friends and lovers in prison. Two parallel narratives – two generations – two worlds that barely recognise each other. But do Robert and Michael have more in common than they think? “Man’s World” is a funny, sexy and moving story about how much the world has changed – and how little.

‘Funny, dirty, deeply romantic, Man’s World is a wonderfully evocative novel that hurtles between now and our recent history in a wild and emotional waltzer ride’ – Jake Arnott

Children of the Sun – Max Schaefer
1970: Fourteen year old Tony becomes seduced by the skinhead movement, sucked into a world of brutal racist violence and bizarre ritual. It’s a milieu in which he must hide his homosexuality, in which every encounter is potentially explosively risky. 2003: James is a young TV researcher, living with his boyfriend. At a loose end, he begins to research the far right in Britain, and its secret gay membership. He becomes particularly fascinated by Nicky Crane, the leader of the movement who came out as gay before dying of AIDs in 1993. The two narrative threads of this extraordinarily assured and ambitious first novel follow Tony through the seventies, eighties and nineties, as the skinhead movement splinters and weakens, and James through a year in which he becomes dangerously immersed in his research. James starts to make contact with individuals on far right websites. He starts receiving threatening phone calls. And then the lives of these two very different heroes unforgettably intersect.

London Triptych – Jonathan Kemp
Three men, three lives and three eras sinuously entwine in a dark, startling and unsettling narrative of sex, exploitation and dependence set against London’s strangely constant gay underworld.

Jack Rose begins his apprenticeship as a rent boy with Alfred Taylor in the 1890s, and finds a life of pleasure and excess leads him to new friendships — most notably with the soon-to-be infamous Oscar Wilde. A century later, David tells his own tale of unashamed decadence while waiting to be released from prison, addressing his story to the lover who betrayed him. Where their paths cross, in the politically sensitive 1950s, the artist Colin Read tentatively explores his sexuality as he draws in preparation for his most ambitious painting yet – ‘London Triptych’.

Rent boys, aristocrats, artists and felons populate this bold début as Jonathan Kemp skilfully interweaves the lives and loves of three very different men across the decades.

‘Astonishingly textured prose and wonderfully defined narrative voices…I recognised the characters immediately and wanted to follow them.’ -Joanne Harris

Call Me By Your Name – Andre Aciman
‘Call Me By Your Name is a beautiful and wise book, written with both lightness and concentrated care for the precise truth of every moment in its drama…it has always been clear from Aciman’s non-fiction that he would write a wonderful book, but this is a miracle.’ Colm Toibin

Set during a restless summer on the Italian Riviera, Call Me By Your Name tell the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blooms between seventeen year old Elio and his father’s house guest Oliver. Currents of obsession and fear, fascination and desire threaten to overwhelm the lovers, who at first feign indifference to the charge between them. A romance barely six weeks’ duration will prove to be an experience that will mark them both for a lifetime. For what the two discover on the Riviera and during a sultry evening in Rome is the one thing they both already fear they may never truely find again: toial intimacy. An amazing novel and highly recommended.

Metro – Alasdair Duncan
Metro ayrıcalıklı ve ateşli Avustralyalı üniversite sporcusu Liam Kelly’nin hikayesidir. Kızlar onu istiyor, erkekler de onun olmak istiyor. Ama kız arkadaşı Avrupa turunda altı aylık bir yolculuğa çıktığında Liam, onun erkeklerin istediğine ve Liam’ın ne elde etmesini istediğine karar verir… ama yeni gizli hayatı için ne kadar riske girmeye hazır? Metro, kentsel gençlik kültürünü özgünlük ve içgörü ile keşfeden yeni, etkili ve seksi bir roman. Hem modern bir hiciv hem de ahlak hikayesi, sınıflandırmaya direnen ve onun için daha güçlü olan bir kitap.

A The Enemy of the Good – Michael Arditti
The Granvilles are an extraordinary family. Edwin is a retired bishop who has lost his faith. Marta, a child of the Warsaw Ghetto, is a controversial anthropologist. Their son, Clement, is a celebrated gay painter traumatised by the death of his twin. Their daughter, Susannah, is a music publicist recovering from an affair with a convicted murderer. Over three remarkable years, the family goes through a sequence of events that causes it to reassess its deepest values and closest relationships. Clement’s work and reputation are violently attacked and his private life exposed. Susannah’s exploration of the Kabbalah takes her into the closed world of Chassidic Jews and a seemingly impossible love. Edwin’s illness forces Marta to confront the horrors of the past. Each must find a way to escape the abyss. Michael Arditti is also the author of Easter, The Celibate and Good Clean Fun.

I Must Confess – Rupert Smith
I Must Confess is the fictional autobiography of Marc LeJeune and his remarkable but chequered show-biz career. Hapless and heart-warmingly pretentious, Marc is a star who knows that real talent comes at a price. Petty jealousies and envious detractors, it would seem, always shadow the truly gifted. This is a sophisticated and wildly entertaining satire of pop-culture history.

Finding initial fame as ‘The Regular Guy’ in a laxative-product advert and later notoriety as the star of certain ‘artistic’ films, Marc sometimes suffers for his art and for taking his talents a little too seriously. Indeed, at times it would seem his inflated ego is ready to pop. Every page of his fabulous odyssey makes you smile. I Must Confess provides a catharsis for the drama queen in all of us. Engaging, moving and hilarious, I Must Confess is an outstandingly entertaining read.

The Indian Clerk – David Leavitt
The extraordinary true story of the discovery of one of the greatest mathematicians.

On a January morning in 1913, G. H. Hardy – eccentric, charismatic and, at thirty-seven, already considered the greatest British mathematician of his age – receives a mysterious envelope covered with Indian stamps. Inside he finds a rambling letter from a self-professed mathematical genius who claims to be on the brink of solving the most important unsolved mathematical problem of his time. Some of his Cambridge colleagues dismiss the letter as a hoax, but Hardy becomes convinced that the Indian clerk who has written it – Srinivasa Ramanujan – deserves to be taken seriously.

Aided by his collaborator, Littlewood, and a young don named Neville who is about to depart for Madras with his wife, Alice, he determines to learn more about the mysterious Ramanujan and, if possible, persuade him to come to Cambridge. It is a decision that will profoundly affect not only his own life, and that of his friends, but the entire history of mathematics.

Based on the remarkable true story of the strange and ultimately tragic relationship between an esteemed British mathematician and an unknown – and unschooled – mathematical genius, and populated with such luminaries as D. H. Lawrence, Bertrand Russell, and Ludwig Wittgenstein, The Indian Clerk fashions from this fascinating period an exquisitely nuanced and utterly compelling story about the fragility of human connection and our need to find order in the world.

Nights Beneath the Nation – Denis Kehoe
Sixty-seven-year-old Daniel Ryan returns to Dublin after fleeing to New York decades earlier, following the end of his love affair with Anthony. His return to the city is a reluctant but necessary journey to exorcise the ghosts of his past. Homosexuality in 1950s Ireland was a furtive, dangerous pursuit. Daniel and Anthony’s relationship was conducted amid the relative security of their bohemian theatre group, run by Maeve, a glamorous woman without much regard for social norms or concern for her reputation among the chattering classes. Cut to the 1990s and not much has changed – liaisons are still conducted in alleyways and seedy saunas. In an effort to escape attention on his return, Daniel tells people he is American, but a promiscuous young man embroils him in a cat and mouse game which threatens to expose his buried history.

Wings – Mikhail Kuzmin
New to St Petersburg, young, naive Vanya Smurov finds a mentor in the enigmatic and intellectual Larion Stroop, who initiates him into a fascinating sphere of art and beauty. As Vanya is drawn into Stroop’s world of aesthetic sensuality, he also becomes aware that Stroop is a frequenter of bathhouses: a homosexual. Disturbed by this revelation, Vanya abandons Stroop and moves to the Volga countryside in search of a more traditional existence. Yet he soon finds that the alternatives offered there are equally unsettling, leading him to question his initial reaction to Stroop’s hedonistic lifestyle. Published in a new translation, Wings was the first Russian novel to focus on homosexuality. Greeted with outrage when it appeared in 1906, this unjustly neglected work is a groundbreaking and sensitive study of a young man’s struggle to come to terms with his identity.

This Breathing World – Jose Luis de Juan
Traslated from the Spanish original, these are two stoires placed in front of each other like mirrors. The first is set in first-century Rome and relates the rise and fall of Mazuf, a homosexual Syrian scribe who becomes a renowned man of letters and a murderer. The second is a confession by a present-day American named Laurence; it seems to be simply a record of his sexual exploits during his student days at Harvard, but we xoon find out there is much more to his tale than first appears. Laurence, a disaffected and sophisticated narator, is a murderer too. But what is the connection between the two men? Is the key an old copy of Edward Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? And can stories change, not only the future, but more compellingly, the past? In a playfully unsettling and wonderfully sensual novel, prize-winning author Jose Luis de Juan explores the secret history of desire and the dark desire to make history.

The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second – Drew Ferguson
Being Charles James Stewart (AKA Charlie the Second) means never “fitting in.” Tall, gangly and big-eared, he could be the poster boy for teenage geeks. An embarrassment to his parents (he’s not to crazy about them, either), Charlie is a virtual untouchable at his school, where humiliation is practically an extra curricular activity. Charlie has tried to fit in, but all of his efforts fall on a glorious, monumental scale. He plays soccer–mainly to escape his home life–but isn’t accepted by his teammates who basically ignore him on the field. He still confuses the accelerator with the brake pedal and has failed his driving exam six times. He can’t work on his college application essay without writing a searing tell-all. But what’s freaking Charlie out the most is that while his hormones are raging and his peers are pairing off, he remains alone with his fantasies.

But all of this is about to change when a new guy at school begins to liven things up on the soccer team–and in Charlie’s life. For the first time in his seventeen years, Charlie will learn how it feels to be a star, at least off the field. But Charlie discovers that even cool guys have problems as he embarks on an unforgettable, risk-filled journey from which there is no turning back….

Between Men 2 Original Fiction by Today’s Best Gay Writers Anthology
‘Between Men 2’ features nineteen diverse and unexpected stories that are erotic, beguiling, provoking and ground-breaking:

In the collection Alan Hollinghurst offers the ‘Highlights’ of a doomed romantic break in Rome. Andrew Holleran surveys how the internet makes, and breaks, gay passion. Mark Merlis takes us back to the sometimes-not-too-pretty 1960s. Ethan Mordden invites us into Bud’s world, among the savvy gay Manhattanites of his acclaimed ‘Buddies’ stories. Randall Kenan introduces the tall striking Brazilian everybody wants; Aaron Hamburger, the Ukrainian mother no gay son wants.

The quality writing continues with everything from Kevin Killian’s star-gazing ‘Yellow Sands’ to Douglas A. Martin’s account of sexual intrigue on campus, ‘Academic Boyfriend Material,’ and from Tennessee Jones’s mean, forgotten America in ‘Down at Texas Beach,’ Patrick Gale’s trip through the charms of rural England in ‘Hushed Casket’ and Eric Karl Anderson’s ‘Breathe.’

His Master’s Lover – Nick Heddle
His Master’s Lover is a tribute to all those forgotten gay men who fought in the First World War – not only those who died, but also the walking wounded, the shell-shocked and the survivors. In 1919, handsome and gay 22-year old Freddy returns to England from the trenches of the Somme with his Victoria Cross expecting to find Prime Minister Lloyd George’s land fit for heroes. This is his story.

Blue Sky Adam – Anthony McDonald
The long awaited sequel to the bestselling novel Adam. At 22 Adam learns that he has come into some property: a vineyard in southern France. Leaving old loves and friends behind he moves, only to find himself somewhat isolated. Stephane, Adam’s sexy new neighbour comes to his rescue, and is soon giving Adam much more than advise on managing his vineyard…When Adam’s teenage lover reappears on the scene, Adam must decide exactly what, and who, he really wants.

Eternal queer questions are explored with astute insight – and bracing erotic interludes – in McDonald’s stellar, thoughtful sequel.’ Richard Labonte

Straightening Alki – Amjeed Kabil
For Ali Mirza, a young British born Pakistani man, life takes a sudden dramatic turn when his family arranges for him to get married even though he has told them he is gay. How will he survive his wedding night when he’s not even turned on by his new bride, whom he has only met once for five minutes? Sajda, his wife, claims she is in love with him, but she does not even know him. For Ali, this is the tip of the iceberg as his boyfriend has moved to France and is hesitant to support Ali. Ali is torn between running away to join the love of his life, or staying to live the life his family has arranged for him. If he does run, will they find him and force him to be straight? Will he ever reunite with his lover? Ali must decide what is best for him and does in a matter of days. Straightening Ali is a riveting story about family ties, conflicting cultures and the basic dynamics of human relationships.

Grief – Andrew Holleran
Newly out in paperback this is the winner of the 2007 Stonewall Award for Literature from the author of Dancer From the Dance. Reeling from the recent death of his invalid mother, an exhausted, lonely professor goes to Washington to escape. What he finds there – in his handsome, solitary landlord; in the city’s sombre mood and sepulchral architecture; and the strange and impassioned letters and journals of Mary Todd Lincoln – shows him unexpected truths about America and loss. As he seeks to engage with the living world around him he comes to realise that his relationship to his grief is very different than he had thought. A masterwork from a writer beloved for his depth of feeling, humour, the elegance of his prose, and his unflinching honesty.

Skin Lane – Neil Bartlett
At forty-seven, Mr. F’s working life on London’s Skin Lane is one governed by calm, precision and routine. So when he starts to have frightening, recurring nightmares, he does his best to ignore them. The images that appear in his dreams are disturbing – Mr. F can’t for the life of him think where they have come from. After all, he’s a perfectly ordinary middle-aged man. As London’s crooked backstreets negin to swelter in the long, hot summer of 1967, Mr. F’s nightmare becomes an obsession. A chance encounter adds a face to the body that nightly haunts him, and the torments of his sweat-drenched nights lead him – and the reader – deeper into a labyrinth of rage, desire and shame.

The list was compiled from Gay’s The Word Lesbian & Gay Bookshop.
Gay’s The Word is the UK’s pioneering first lesbian and gay bookshop. Established in 1979 and had located in the historic Bloomsbury district of London.

Telling Your Family That You’re Gay

Before you think about how to come out to your family, what’s most important is that you feel a sense of acceptance in yourself about your sexual orientation and/or gender identity and your reasons for coming out. As you begin to acknowledge to yourself that you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans, it is very common to experience guilt, shame, doubt and confusion.

The effects of a lifetime of negative social messages, discrimination and, for some, violence cannot be erased overnight. This can be a difficult time and it can be helpful to talk to a counsellor or friend to help prepare you emotionally to come out. Involvement in a local coming out group may also help you with your own process.

Even in a climate where the LGBTI community has begun to fight back and demand rights, recognition and protection under the law, social attitudes and belief systems continue to discriminate. Although social attitudes such as homophobia and transphobia affect all of us, many members of the LGBTI community confront other forms of discrimination as well, such as racism, ageism, sexism, etc. All or some of these social attitudes may influence your coming out experience.

Although homophobia and transphobia exist in all cultures, the degree of acceptance of LGBTI identities varies across cultural and religious communities. For some of us, the loss of family and/or membership in our cultural community, silence, hostility or even violence are very real consequences to coming out. If this is your reality, you need to realistically assess the risks involved. If you decide to come out, but are concerned about your family’s reaction, you should work with a counsellor or friend to develop a plan that will ensure your safety.

Family reactions

As you begin to feel the first inklings of pride and entitlement to be who you are, you can’t help feeling that family, friends and the rest of the heterosexual world will see you as different. One of the things we know is that prejudice and discrimination do change over time and it is usually exposure to that which is different that helps to change negative attitudes. When it comes to family members and in particular parents finding out they have a LGBTI child, it is those historically negative ideas about homosexuality that first concern them.

Some thoughts that cross many parents’ minds include:

“If being gay is sick, perverted and unnatural, and my child says they’re gay, I must have been a bad parent.”

“Lesbians are treated badly in employment and housing situations and lead isolated lonely lives outside the mainstream. I don’t want my child to suffer.”

“Being trans is seen as sick and perverted by many people. How will other family, friends and work mates see me if my child is trans?”

Dealing with cultural issues

If you have strong ties to a particular cultural community, your parents may be concerned with how your coming out will be perceived by the community and how it will affect their position within it. Many individuals report that cultural values, such as not talking about or displaying emotions, get in the way of them sharing their sexual orientation or gender identity with their parents. In many cultural communities, being LGBTI is considered to be a North American problem, thus the preferred response to your coming out may be to deny your reality and to become more strict about having you conform to cultural norms and expectations. Coming out may also feel like you need to choose between your cultural identity and your sexual orientation. This is even more difficult when you experience the LGBTI community as being insensitive to your cultural identity. There are groups and associations for LGBTI individuals from specific cultural communities. They can help you find culturally appropriate information, images and supports for you and your family.

If you are coming out as trans

Although years of activism have improved the lives of many members of the LGBTI community, trans individuals are still the focus of much discrimination and violence. If you are coming out to your parents as trans, you may face challenges relating to the lack of information and positive images that are available regarding trans folks, particularly individuals from specific cultural communities. The lack of information available about trans people and their experiences is directly related to the confusion and hostility that many parents may feel when their child comes out as trans. Trans identities also lead to confusion regarding the issue of sexual orientation, so your parents may wonder whether your new gender identity also means that you are gay or lesbian. Transphobia can combine with homophobia to make coming out a very challenging and anxiety-provoking experience.

Consult the list of resources on this website for books and articles that can help you come out to your parents, as well as the list of links that we have provided for trans positive services and web sites.

Most parents want the best for their children and if they know that what’s best is to be true to yourself and live who you are, they will gradually come to accept, not only that they have a gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans child and that it wasn’t their fault, but that their child will live a fulfilling life.

Before you tell your family

Before you tell them, you need personal time to come to terms with your new self-understanding. It’s also helpful to have support from others who have gone through this process. Keep in mind there is likely at least one other gay, lesbian or bisexual person in your family tree, either from previous generations or who is currently alive. One of the fun aspects of coming out to yourself is going over your family tree and identifying those who may have been LGBTI. This is often not the case for trans folks as they are still fighting for the right to live out and proud.

With your new awareness you may discover there were clues all along that you didn’t recognize because of secrecy and shame. We often hear from individuals, struggling with coming out to their family, that they fear the news will “kill” their parents. Although it may be difficult in the beginning and your parents and family may initially reject you , most, particularly those who had a good relationship with their children, accept the news over time.

Many people who’ve come out also find that their relationship with their parents eventually improves because of the increased openness and honesty that comes with sharing this knowledge. Many also experience a great sense of relief in knowing that they no longer need to keep their true identity a secret.

It is important that you communicate to your parents that you love them, are not trying to hurt them and that, whether you are coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans, you are still the same person that they love. Consider sharing with them your story of coming out to yourself, as well as the resources that you found helpful during this time. This may include books, films, friends, allies, and counselors. Above all, be patient. Recall how long it took for you to come to terms with your new identity and give your parents the time to do the same.

There are many ways you can tell your family:

The most common first step for many LGBTI is to confide in a sibling (if you have one), cousin, uncle or aunt; one who you feel will accept and support you in telling other family members.
When you’re ready to tell your parents, you might want to start with the parent to whom you feel the closest.
Instead of telling them in person, another option is to write your parents a letter. This gives your parents time to reflect on what you have told them and decide how to respond.
When you meet with your parents, either after you’ve sent a letter, or to tell them for the first time, you might want to consider bringing along a supportive friend or family member.

Polari, The Forgotten Gay Language

When homosexuality was illegal up until 1967 the Gay Community had to use own language.

Since LGBTI+ people have recently been able to exist more openly in society without fear of persecution by the state we have been able to talk openly about express our feelings and personalities in public. But this has not always been the case. Homosexuality was driven so far underground in the United Kingdom that many turned to a new, secretive yet expressive form of communication.

Polari first came about in the theatre and the gay subculture in Britain in the 1950s and 1960s, becoming more widely known from its hidden use by camp radio characters in a popular BBC radio show which ran from 1964 to 1969. It grew up primarily to disguise homosexual activity from potentially hostile outsiders (such as undercover policemen), but also because many gay men worked in entertainment (including circuses, hence the many borrowings from Romany in Polari). It was also used extensively in the Merchant Navy, where many gay men joined cruise ships (particularly P&O) as waiters, stewards and entertainers. It was mainly used by camp or effeminate gay men, who tended to come from working class backgrounds. In a sense, they had the least to lose by being “out”.

Polari had begun to fall into disuse by the late 1960s, the popularity of Julian and Sandy ensured that this secret language was public property, and the gay liberationists of the 1970s viewed it as rather degrading, divisive and politically incorrect (a lot of it was used to gossip about or criticise people, as well as discussing sexual exploits). Since the mid-1990s, with the redistribution of tapes and CDs of Round the Horne and increasing academic interest, Polari was undergone a slight revival. It will probably never die out completely, but new words are continually being invented and updated to refer to more recent cultural concepts – for example, the recent term “Madonna claw” means an old withered hand. In 2002 two books on Polari were published, Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men, and Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang (both by Paul Baker).

Polari Dictionary

ajax = nearby (from adjacent?)
basket = the bulge of male genitals through clothes
batts = shoes
bijou = small
bod = body
bold = daring
bona = good
butch = masculine; masculine lesbian
camp = effeminate (origin: KAMP = Known As Male Prostitute)
capello = hat
carts/cartso = penis
carsey = toilet, also spelt khazi
chicken = younger male
charper = search
charpering omi = policeman
cod = naff, vile
cottage = public loo (particularly with reference to cottaging)
cottaging = having or looking for sex in a cottage
crimper = hairdresser
dish = an attractive male; buttocks
dizzy = scatterbrained
dolly = pretty, nice, pleasant
drag = clothes, esp. women’s clothes
ecaf = face (backslang)
eek = face (abbreviation of ecaf)
ends = hair
esong = nose
fantabulosa = wonderful
feele = child
fruit = queen
gelt = money
glossies = magazines
handbag money
hoofer = dancer
jarry = food, also mangarie
kaffies = trousers
khazi = toilet, also spelt carsey
lallies = legs
latty room, = house or flat
lills = hands
lilly = police (Lilly Law)
luppers = fingers
mangarie = food, also jarry
measures = money
meese = plain, ugly (from Yiddish)
meshigener = nutty, crazy, mental
metzas = money
mince = walk (affectedly)
naff bad, = drab (from Not Available For Fucking)
nanti = not, no
national handbag = dole
nishta = nothing, no
oglefakes = glasses
ogles = eyes
omi = man
omi-polone = effeminate man, or homosexual
onk = nose
orbs = eyes
palare pipe = telephone
palliass = back (as in cpart of body)
park = give
plate = feet; to fellate
polari = chat, talk
polone w= oman
pots = teeth
riah/riha = hair
riah shusher = hairdresser
scarper = to run off (from Italian scappare, to escape)
scotch = leg
sharpy = policeman
shush = steal (from client)
shush = bag holdall
shyker/shyckle = wig
slap = makeup
strillers = piano
thews = thighs
trade = sex
troll = to walk about (esp. looking for trade)
vada/varda = see
willets = breasts

Do Gay Men Have Less Stable Relationships?

No one really knows why, but for decades, social studies have hinted that gay men are more promiscuous and less faithful in relationships. Formal studies that have been done to pick apart claims that gay men are less capable of committing to one person however have failed to prove anything. So why are we worried?

The HIV/AIDs epidemic is the major concern. Responsible monogamous couples have very little reason to worry about contracting HIV/AIDs or any other sexually transmitted disease, but young homosexual and bisexual men make up an astoundingly large percentage of new HIV/AIDs diagnoses, and these individuals tend to fall into a “high risk sexual behavior” category also. Although this is hardly proof that gay men are less monogamous, it certainly suggests that they are. There are other reasons to think that promiscuity is a real issue in gay male relationships; past studies that were done on monogamy and relationship security and satisfaction have found that when they compared lesbian, heterosexual, and homosexual relationships women reported feeling more secure and satisfied than men in general. No differences were found to be a result of sexual preference, just gender.

The reality is men usually feel less commitment than women do in relationships, and less satisfied. National surveys that track the prevalence of cheating in married couples have found that, in the U.S. and the U.K., married men are almost twice as likely as married women to have slept with someone other than their spouse. Since most gay couples aren’t married the odds that one of the partners will cheat could be even higher. It’s probably not a terrible thing that gay men are less committed.

Some ultimately suggest that monogamous partnership is unnatural. But, regardless, the contribution that young gay men make to the HIV/AIDs epidemic is something that needs to be taken more seriously. Condom use is not enough. Gay men must take the initiative to know their sexual partners’ history. Like all sexually active people with more than one partner, Gay men should be tested for STDs routinely. Psychologically healthy monogamy may be bogus, but we can’t pretend that having multiple partners is just as safe.

Real Reasons That Gay Parents Are Amazing

Scientific evidence shows that children of gay parents are being raised very well.

The American Academy of Pediatrics announced its approval of same sex marriage and said: “Children thrive in families that are stable and that provide permanent security, and the way we do that is through marriage.”

Benjamin Siegel, who co-authored the policy statement, said in a statement. “The AAP believes there should be equal opportunity for every couple to access the economic stability and federal supports provided to married couples to raise children.” Here are some reasons that gay parents are doing an excellent job:

They intentionally have kids.

The frequent unplanned pregnancies are not in the mix with same-sex couples. It’s not to say that anyone who doesn’t have a child in a planned way is doing a bad job. But, when gay couples plan to have children they tend to be more attentive, passionate and motivated about raising their children.

They care for the neediest children.

Some of the neediest children up for adoption are saved by gay parents who look for them. It has been found that 60 percent of lesbian and gay parents who adopt do so across races. This makes it possible for minority children to get out of the system when it’s often so difficult for them to be wanted by those looking to adopt. Gay parents also go for older children. When kids are older than 3, it is much more difficult for them to be adopted. A majority of those adopted are special needs children.

They encourage tolerance.

Many who were raised by lesbian and gay parents say that they learned empathy and open-mindedness from their parents. They were not taught to stereotype genders and felt that they were more accepting and tolerant of others because of their upbringing.

Their kids do well academically.

A review of research on same-sex parents and their kids from 2010 reported that GPAs were up to par with kids of heterosexual couples. One study showed that boys of lesbian parents had a higher average GPA (2.9) compared to heterosexual parents (2.65). Teen girls of lesbian moms scored (2.8) compared to those with heterosexual parents with an average (2.9) GPA.

They raise confident kids.

Being raised in an environment with gay or lesbian parents can bring about confidence in kids. A study involving lesbian mothers with or without partners who intentionally had kids, not bringing them in to the family from a previous heterosexual relationship, showed that they raised more confident kids than heterosexual parents. This is most likely because of more involvement in their children’s lives.

Gay Men’s Health & Healthcare Providers

Have you ever had a healthcare provider who didn’t understand you?

Maybe you just didn’t feel comfortable with him, or maybe she was outright rude. Either way, having an open relationship with your physician is extremely important. Aside from the fact that you don’t want to work with someone looking down their nose at you, being able to raise concerns and discuss health issues openly and honestly is a major contributor to your long-term health.

As a gay man, there are a couple of issues that are particularly important to discuss with your healthcare provider.

#1 HIV/AIDS

Men who have sex with men are at disproportionately high risk for contracting HIV, in addition to other sexually transmitted infections. Many infections may not initially show symptoms so following up regularly for check-ups and discussing your sexual practices with your physician may end up making all the difference in the long run. Many healthcare providers are also able to provide you with other resources and referrals – when it comes to your doctor, it’s always good to talk!

#2 HPV

The serious effects of HPV have only recently hit the forefront of health news. HPV has many strains, but it is mostly known for being the virus that causes genital warts. Genital warts are generally easy to treat, your healthcare provider can prescribe a removal cream, or, if needed, laser treatment. The concern with HPV isn’t the genital warts as much as it is cancer. Unfortunately, there aren’t many other symptoms of HPV to warn you, but the virus is now being linked to increased levels of anal and oral cancer. Oral sex can transmit HPV to the mouth and throat, causing problems in the long run. The virus is also transmitted through anal sex, possibly causing anal cancer. While this is difficult to test in men, keep up to date with your check ups.

If you are a sexually active man, find a healthcare provider that you are comfortable with and check in regularly. Reach out to a professional today!

Common Anxieties New Intergenerational Gay Couples Experience

Intergenerational couples face anxieties related to their age differences and prejudices from the outside that can make it exceptionally difficult for their relationships to grow. By taking the obvious anxieties (sometimes they’re not apparent to either partner) and tackling them head on, differences can be deemed worthy of addressing or irreconcilable. Read on to learn of some of the top anxieties some gay intergenerational couples face.

Perception
When intergenerational couples are first beginning their relationship, they’re often concerned about the perception of others. A lot of anxieties for the couple dictate their approach to the relationship. Significant negative impacts may result from outside societal pressure.

Opportunism
Both partners in a relationship may suspect that they’re being taken advantage of in some way. For example, does the younger one in the relationship just use the older partner for their money? Or, is the older partner using the younger partner for sex, or as “arm candy”? It’s important to have this discussion with your partner before assuming opportunism is the case because it can be very hurtful if that assumption is incorrect. Of course, if it’s true, it’s a legitimate reason to call it quits.

Sexual performance
This is more often an anxiety experienced by the older partner. As men age, their sexual function often decreases and they focus on those problems. They might have concerns with performance and how their younger partner will judge them. It’s also the case that the younger man might fear they’re not experienced enough for their older partner.

Autonomy
This is more of a problem for the younger partner in a relationship. The older partner is quite often more established financially and professionally. And, they have usually been out of the closet for a longer period of time; more secure with their sexuality. At the same time, the older partner may fear that they’re holding back their younger partner when it comes to to their development and sexual experiences.

Rejection
This happens in many relationships that are new– the fear of rejection. All of the anxieties we have feed into this fear. Is the younger man experienced or educated as much as the older man? On the other hand, is the older man fit enough, with sufficient energy to keep up with his younger partner? If there’s any concern, these are important questions to explore with your partner; they can be confronted and dealt with…and the relationship can flourish.

Havana’s Secret Gay Parties

Gay people in Havana suffered violent attacks and police repression for many years.

In the Cuban capital, there have always existed “public” gay meeting places, bars & clubs generally for men (we haven’t heard of any such spot where women “lesbians and bisexual women” meet, and it is said the spots for men are rather dangerous for women).

These spots were often the sites of collapsed or burnt-down buildings, abandoned, dimly-lit and dirty spaces, distant from the prying eyes of the unsuspecting at night. Though private, these places where also dangerous, to say nothing of the risk of sexually transmitted diseases people exposed themselves to. They included the ruins of the Moscu restaurant, the Chivo beach, the public bathroom at Quixote park, the Jose Miguel Gomez mausoleum, Fraternidad park in Old Havana, the Fuente Luminosa, the areas surrounding the Capitolio building and the malecón ocean drive.

People would switch meeting spots because of police repression. At the time, there were no places where members of the community could meet in person safely. The number of such spots increased notoriously, especially after the onslaught of the “Special Period crisis” in the 1990s. So-called “10-peso parties” (illegal parties with a 10-peso admission) became common.

Popular parties were thrown by Piriquiton, in Cerro, Lila’s parties, parties in Cojimar and others that continued to be held into the 2000s.

Havana is Cuba’s capital city. Spanish colonial architecture in its 16th-century Old Havana core includes the Castillo de la Real Fuerza, a fort and maritime museum. The National Capitol Building is an iconic 1920s landmark. Also in Old Havana is the baroque Catedral de San Cristóbal and Plaza Vieja, whose buildings reflect the city’s vibrant architectural mix

The Tay Bush Inn Raid

On Sept. 14, 1961 242 patrons, nearly all of them men, were packed into the Tay-Bush Inn at the Corner of Taylor and Bush in San Francisco. The photo shows the scene – a block of apartments occupies the block where the Inn was. Gary Kamiya tells SF Gate what happened on that night.

“The Tay-Bush was a one-room cafe that drew night owls who danced to its jukebox until dawn. Some walked up the hill from the theater district after the shows let out.

At 3:15 that September morning, three undercover police officers in the bar gave a prearranged signal, the jukebox went silent, a loudspeaker outside blared and uniformed cops barged in. They began herding the patrons onto the sidewalk and arresting them.

The headline on The Chronicle’s story the next day read, “Big Sex Raid – Cops Arrest 103.” The secondary headline said, “139 Get Away.” (Police later insisted only five or so had escaped.)

The story called the raid “the biggest action of its kind in the history of the department.” Many of the arrestees were students, it said. “Others called themselves clerks, laborers, hairdressers; one said he was a psychologist. Police said the men were dancing together and kissing.”

The raid “was reminiscent of the old speakeasy days of Prohibition,” The Chronicle wrote. “Three paddy wagons shuttled back and forth between the inn and the city prison – seven loads in all – and apartment house dwellers watched from their windows.”

Most of the patrons were booked as “visitors to a disorderly house.” The bar’s owner, 27-year-old Robert Johnson, was booked on four counts, including “lewd and indecent acts” and “keeping a disorderly house.”

Asked by a reporter if any “deviates” had been at his club that night, Johnson said, “Yes, of course. But we have a lot of show people and others – they like the New York atmosphere – you know, brick walls.” ”

Despite having the names of the arrested printed in the papers, charges against all but two of those arrested were dropped. The raid – years before Stonewall – raised a political consciousness in the gay community. The Mattachine Society seized on the incident to push for civil rights.

The Tay-Bush raid made the civil rights of gays and lesbians a legitimate subject for debate, and marked the beginning of the end of San Francisco’s crackdown on gay bars. The SFPD’s final attempt to repress gays took place on New Year’s Day 1965, when police raided an advocacy group’s masquerade ball at California Hall on Polk Street. Even John Shelley, the mayor, condemned the police action. San Francisco was now Gay.

The Eldorado

The Eldorado was a famed destination in Berlin for lesbians, homosexual men, transvestites of both sexes, and tourists during the 1920’s and 30’s. As soon as the Nazis came to power, gay bars and clubs like the Eldorado were closed down. The “El Dorado” was situated at 29, Lutherstraße. It had a lavish floor show. It was closed down in about 1932. Clubs with the same name have since re-opened.

Tony’s Smart Set notes:

“Berlin’s 400 or so bars were divided in tourist guidebooks according to a strict taxonomy of desire. Flush heterosexuals might choose the Kakadu, with Polynesian-style décor and caged parrots hanging over each table; when patrons wished to leave, they could tap their glasses and the bird would squawk loudly for the check. Gay men would descend on the Karls-Lounge, where the waiters and “Line Boys” all wore neat sailor’s outfits. Lesbians liked Mali and Ingel, where guests were obliged to dance with the randy owners, or the Café Olala, where some customers liked to dress in Salvation Army outfits. Male cross-dressers went to the Silhouette, female cross-dressers to the Mikado, and everyone the entire sexual spectrum over blurred at the Eldorado, where one dancer, when quizzed by a slumming grand dame as to gender, replied in a haughty voice: “I am whatever sex you wish me to be, Madame.” ”

The Gay Man in Margaret Thatcher’s Government

Nicholas Eden, 2nd Earl of Avon, was born on 3 October 1930 and died on 17 August 1985, from Aids. He was a British Conservative politician and was the younger son of former Prime Minister Anthony Eden and his first wife, Beatrice. He was educated at Eton. He succeeded in the earldom on the death of his father in 1977. His older brother was killed on active service in Burma.

Nicholas Eden served under Margaret Thatcher as a Lord-in-Waiting from 1980 to 1983, as Under-Secretary of State for Energy from 1983 to 1984 and as Under-Secretary of State for the Environment from 1984 until shortly before his death in 1985. Lord Avon was unmarried and his titles died with him. He was openly gay.

Harlem’s Hidden Gay History: The Rockland Palace Drag Balls

The Hamilton Lodge was a black gay social group that held extravagant drag balls in Harlem, New York, in the 1930s. Prohibition put an end to the Hamilton Lodge drag formals at the Rockland Palace on West 155th Street.

New York’s drag balls were given national exposure by the 1990 documentary “Paris is Burning.” Harlem’s gay scene was well known before Prohibition, and Hamilton Lodge was one of the foremost venues for the area’s thriving LGBT community. Artists who supported Harlem’s gay community during the 1930s included Tallulah Bankhead.

Inside the Rockland Palace, The Black Archives

“You had a large majority of drag queens and what we now call gender-queer pushing the boundaries,” says Hael Fisher, who is relaunching the Hamilton Lodge drag balls. “And you had a lot of white onlookers who came up from the West Village to be a part of this.”

The Rockland was torn down in the 1960s and the site became a car park.

Gay Centres

During the 1970s era of gay liberation, gay centres were established usually by squatting in unused or unwanted, dilapidated premises in various cities around the world. One such gay centre was The South London Gay Community Centre at 78 Railton Road, Brixton, London, an empty shop, which was established in the mid 1970s.

Gay centres afforded a safe space where, often for the first time, gay men and lesbians could meet and exchange ideas, and discuss politics. Not only campaigns were formed in them, but also gay groups and organisations, businesses, theatre companies, dance companies and the like. It was such a catalyst for ideas and activity that within months, the immediate area was home to two women’s centres, the Anarchist News Service, Squatters Groups, a Claimants’ Union for those on welfare benefits, the Brixton Advice Centre, Icebreakers, the Race Today Collective and a food cooperative.

The centre at Brixton is important in the UK’s gay history because it was the first one, and formed the template for those following. The squatters were evicted after two years.

A Brief History of Homophobia in Russia

Stalin didn’t think much of gay rights.

Dan Healy of the Moscow Times had given us a history of homophobia in Russia.

“Orthodox clerics condemned sex between men and youths. They also condemned men who shaved, used make-up, or wore gaudy clothing as devotees of the “sodomitical sin.””

Peter the Great outlawed sex between men in his Military Code of 1716, to be punished by flogging, and male rape, by penal servitude. In 1835, motivated by reports of vice in the Empire’s boarding schools, Tsar Nicholas I formally extended the ban on male same-sex relations to wider society in a new criminal code. Men who engaged in voluntary “sodomy” (muzhelozhstvo) were exiled to Siberia; sodomy with minors or the use of force netted exile with hard labor. This law remained in force until 1917. There was no law against lesbian relations.

Tsarist Russia avoided enforcing the law against upper-class homosexuals. There was no Russian equivalent to Oscar Wilde, Colonel Alfred Redl of Hungary, or Prince Eulenberg of Germany. Many supporters of the Romanov dynasty, and members of the tsar’s family, were flagrantly gay but when the government drafted a new criminal code — never to be adopted — in 1903, it continued to criminalize male homosexuality.

When revolution came in 1917, the Provisional Government wanted to enact the 1903 criminal code, but lost power to the Bolsheviks, who abrogated all tsarist law in November 1917. Until 1922 there was no written criminal law.

Police raids had been conducted on circles of “pederasts” in Moscow and Leningrad who were accused of spying; they had also “politically demoralized various social layers of young men, including young workers, and even attempted to penetrate the army and navy.”

Stalin forwarded Yagoda’s letter to Lazar Kaganovich, noting “these scoundrels must receive exemplary punishment” and directing that a law against “pederasty” be adopted. The new law was adopted for all the Soviet republics in March 1934, with a minimum sentence of three to five years for consenting male homosexuality.

Healy continues:

“Harry Whyte, a British Communist working for the English-language Moscow Daily News wrote to Stalin in May 1934, asking him to justify the new law. He boldly explained why it violated Marxist principles. He asked Stalin, “Can a homosexual be considered a person fit to become a member of the Communist Party?” Stalin scrawled across the letter, “An idiot and a degenerate. To the archives.”

The anti-homosexual law remained in place until 1993 in Russia. Without access to FSB and presidential archives we have only a rough idea of how many men were prosecuted under it; at minimum, tens of thousands suffered.

De-Stalinization under Nikita Khrushchev actually cemented the law in place. In 1958 the Interior Ministry issued a secret decree “on the strengthening of the struggle against sodomy,” telling police to enforce the law with renewed vigor. From this date about 1,000 men were imprisoned annually in the Soviet Union for their homosexuality. Soviet authorities worried that the millions of men released from the single-sex Gulag camps were a source of “sexual perversion” dangerous to Soviet society.

Discussions during the Perestroika years seemed to point toward reform, but the Interior Ministry fought vigorously against any relaxation. In April 1993, as part of a package to bring Russian legislation in line with Council of Europe standards, the Yeltsin administration decriminalized male homosexuality, but there was no amnesty for the hundreds of men still in prison under the law at that time.

In 2002, during a Duma debate about changes to sex-crime legislation, nationalist-conservative deputies called for the re-criminalization of voluntary sodomy and for the first time in a millennium of Russian legal history, the criminalization of lesbian acts. The Kremlin ignored these calls, but the status of Russia’s lesbians and gays remains an open question. Like Harry Whyte in 1934, we might well ask, “Can a homosexual be considered a person fit to be a citizen of the Russian Federation?””

Lambda

The lambda was selected as a symbol by the Gay Activists Alliance of New York in 1970, following the Stonewall Riots, and was declared the international symbol for gay and lesbian rights by the International Gay Rights Congress in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1974. The lambda signifies unity under oppression.

The Scottish Minorities Group hosted the first ever International Gay Rights Conference in Edinburgh from 18 to 22 December 1974. It was co-organised by Ian Dunn and Derek Ogg. Ian Dunn had organised the first meeting of what was to become the Scottish Minorities Group in 1969. Derek Ogg later founded Scottish AIDS Monitor in the 1980s.

The conference tried to provide an international sharing of experience, so that delegates could find out the social, political and legal situation for men and women from other countriesm, and included sessions on the rights of young homosexuals and of gay women. The problem of lesbian invisibility was explicitly addressed by a delegate from Campaign Against Moral Persecution in New South Wales, Australia.

Nearly 400 people attended the conference, which led in 1978 to the establishment of the International Gay Association, later to become the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA).

The gay rights organization Lambda Legal and the American Lambda Literary Award derive their names from this symbol. Gay News offered a range of jewellery items featuring the Lambda symbol.

Leonard Matlovich

Leonard P. Matlovich was born on July 6, 1943 and died on June 22, 1988. He was a Vietnam War veteran, race relations instructor, and recipient of the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star. Matlovich made history by becoming the first gay service member of US forces to out himself to the military to fight their ban on gays. In the 1970s he and Harvey Milk were the best known gay men in America.

The gay community rallied behind his fight to stay in the USAF. His photograph appeared on the cover of the September 8, 1975, issue of Time magazine, making him a symbol for thousands of gay and lesbian servicemembers and gay people generally. Matlovich was the first openly gay person to appear on the cover of a U.S. newsmagazine.

In October 2006, Matlovich was honoured as a leader in the history of the LGBT community .

A Mormon and church elder, Matlovich found himself at odds with the church, and their opposition to homosexual behavior. He was twice excommunicated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for homosexual acts.

In 1986 Matlovich was diagnosed with HIV/Aids. Typical of the man, he was among the first patients to try a newly developed treatment, AZT.

His grave at the Congressional Cemetery does not prominently bear his name. The inscription reads: “When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” His grave is in the same row as that of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover.

Gay News Trial

In June 1976 the British gay newspaper Gay News published a poem, The love that dares not speak its name, by James Kirkup. Someone sent a copy to television campaigner Mary Whitehouse. She applied for a private prosecution for blasphemy in November and the prosecution began in December 1976. Gay News Ltd and Denis Lemon (the editor) were charged. The offending publication was “a blasphemous libel concerning the Christian religion, namely an obscene poem and illustration vilifying Christ in his life and in his crucifixion”.

The Independent obituary for Mr Lemon notes:

He published Kirkup’s poem in 1976 because he thought ‘the message and intention of the poem was to celebrate the absolute universality of God’s love’, although he admitted it was ‘probably not a great work of literature’.

A fighting fund to defend the newspaper was set up. On 4 July 1977 proceedings opened at the Old Bailey. Margaret Drabble and Bernard Levin were allowed to appear as character witnesses on Lemon’s part. On 11 July Lemon and Gay News were found guilty. Gay News Ltd was fined £1,000. Denis Lemon was fined £500 and sentenced to nine months imprisonment, suspended. Costs of £7,763 were ordered.

Gay News and Lemon appealed. On 21 February 1979 the Law Lords upheld the verdict. On 7 May 1982 The European Court of Human Rights decided the case was inadmissible.

Denis Edward Lemon died from Aids related conditions in Exmouth on 21 July 1994.

The Lesbian and Gay Miners’ Support Group

The Lesbian and Gay Miners’ Support Group were set up during the 1984-85 miners’ strike and challenged prejudices held by many in the labour movement.

by February 1985 there were eleven lesbians’ and gay men’s miners’ support groups all over the country. By December 1984 the London group alone had collected over £11,000 through pub, club and street collections, benefits, parties and other events. The highlight event was undoubtedly the ‘Pits and Perverts’ gig at the Electric Ballroom where Bronski Beat headed the bill; it raised £5,650.

The London group was the first to be set up in July 1984, and started with 11 members. Six months later it had grown to 50 members.

The Lothian Lesbian & Gay Miners Support Group was set up in September 1984 with 12 members raising £40 a week for the White Craige strike centre in East Lothian.

Lesbians Against Pit Closures followed in November 1984, involving more than 20 women who collected £50 a week for the Rhodisia Women’s Action Group, Worksop. The gay community’s support for the miners received much coverage in the left-wing and trade union press. The lesbians’ and gay men’s ‘fringe meeting’ at the October 1984 Labour Party conference was attended by about 250 people.

The recognition of gay rights issues by the union and Labour movements and the contacts forged during the miner’s strike between them and the gay movement led to the formation of a network of gay groups for the members of trade unions which continues to thrive. It also led to gay and lesbian issues being included in training courses for union representatives in the workplace, and the adoption of gay rights policies by the Labour Party.

Gay Saunas and Bathhouses

The growing cities of the late 1800s included growing populations of gay men. Generally, households were poor and many did not have advanced plumbing. From the 1880s public facilities for bathing were seen as desirable public amenities. A number of the bath houses in large cities where gay men were congregating and forming communities became ‘gay’. The movement for “turkish” baths “hamam” with steam rooms and lounges also proved popular with gay men. After World War II a number of raids were carried out on gay premises in a number of countries, and they went underground, re-emerging after the sexual and cultural revolution of the 1960s. During the Aids scare of the 1980s there was renewed attention on closing down gay bathhouses which were seen as helping to spread the infection.

They survive.

Gay Straight Alliances

Gay Straight Alliances are an increasingly popular way of bringing people together in order to reduce homophobia and homophobic bullying.

GSA’s have become popular and are groupings of individuals who get together to create a safe space where gay people can meet and talk with straight peers without fear of harassment and discrimination. However Noah Davis-Power points out that such alliances need resources, funding and commitment – it is not enough to just set them up and tick the box.

GSA’s exist to assure that each member of every community at work or school is valued and respected regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

Most of them have been formed in high schools and colleges but there are also some gay straight alliances in the adult and internet worlds like Twitter and Facebook.

If you think you could benefit from having a gay straight alliance, here are steps to forming a Gay Straight Alliance:

1. Follow the guidelines at your school or office. Establish the GSN the same way as any other club or society. Check the regulations or company policies on establishing and running clubs or support groups.

2. Find a supportive teacher or staff member or manager. Identify an ally or champion and get them on your side to help start your GSN.

3. Inform the school’s or employers’ administration or personnel section. They often work as liasons to other school members or colleagues.

4. Know the law.

5. Carry out a climate survey. This will allow you to better understand the prevailing culture and position of your colleagues on such issues as anti-LGBTI+ bullying and harassment and to make your case for continuing with the GSA.